First Impression Chit Chat Without All The Micro-Aggressions

Have you ever met someone and within the first half hour they have managed to offend you six million times over, asking where you're from, when you moved to the place you live now, what you or your parents do, what school you went to or what your political or religious views are or even what sports team your rooting for. All of these things are topics which suggest you are being judged. Maybe it's time to make a few suggestions. Here are a few alternative subjects to spark up conversation.

Start off with the basics and ask 'how do you identify'?

Remember that you can't tell the gender of the person you are looking at simply by the clothing they are wearing. People identify with typical male and female genders all the time simply to get by in life, so get to know the real person inside. If you are unfamiliar with their gender identity (eg: Ambigender, Ambonic, Hemigendered, Masc/Fem-Fluid) do not let on, it can be offensive to be reminded constantly that your identity is not reflected in social norms.

What is your preferred pronoun?

To help you establish an individual's gender identity it can be helpful to ask what their preferred pronoun is. There's nothing worse than making a bad first impression by potentially offending someone.

I know it's personal, but do you mind if I ask about your orientation?

Since you're on the subject of gender, just cover all your bases and determine right off what their sexual orientation is. You may or may not be checking them out as a potential mate but knowing someone's orientation will really help you avoid any embarrassing assumptions about their preferences. This type of conversation also limits talk about race, culture or social-economic status which can make some individuals feel ill at ease. If one party appears more privileged conversation can be awkward. Again if you are unfamiliar with someone's sexual-orientation (eg: Androgynosexual, Pansexual, Pedo-sexual) try not to let on as it can be alienating.

If you get past the basics in the first conversation you can always move on to the more advanced, how is the weather?