On today's episode of BuzzFeed Daily, we broke down the top pop culture headlines AND served up another edition of DM 911. You can listen below or scroll down to read more about the interview!
So let's dive right into it! Our own Stephen LaConte was back today with another edition of DM-911. He had some advice for a woman in a very confusing long-distance relationship. Here's some of what we learned:
BuzzFeed Daily: Our first advice seeker needs some relationship advice. They write: "I've been in a long-distance relationship for a few months, and last week we finally got to see each other again. But very early on the first day, he told me he only saw me as a friend and that we needed to break up. It was very hurtful since we already had many plans, but we managed to still have a good trip. After he got back home, he told me he noticed on the plane that he didn't want to leave me and that he did love me. He also asked me to stay in the relationship. I want to say yes, but is it a good idea since he changes his mind so much?"
Stephen LaConte: Well, I think there are two ways that you could look at this. On the one hand, I don't think it's some unforgivable sin to have some doubts in a relationship, especially at first. You know, you've only been dating a few months. You live in other countries, and it's possible that he just needed to spend that time face-to-face with you to reconnect with why he wants to be in the relationship. Having doubts like that is not ideal. It can be very hurtful to the other person, but it is not inherently wrong or some, like, moral failing on the person's part who is having the doubts. And many couples, if not most couples, probably go through this in some way early on in the dating process, and many will go on to have perfectly happy and healthy relationships once they get their shit together. He wants to be with you. Now, you say that you want to say yes to him. And if this has been the only hiccup in an otherwise blissful, happy courtship, I certainly don't think you would be wrong to give it another shot.
However, I do think there's a chance that if you move forward with this person, you are going to have some significant challenges ahead of you. You know, all relationships should be built on a strong foundation, but long-distance relationships need to be built on the strongest of strong foundations. If this guy is someone who really needs face-to-face time with his partner in order to feel connected to them, well, on the one hand, that's understandable, but it also means that he maybe should not be dating someone who lives in another country. Long-distance relationships will challenge and test even the strongest, most solid couples.
So you've asked me what to do here, and unfortunately, I really can't tell you that because this is a question of how much risk you are willing to take on for yourself. That would be the risk that his doubts are going to come back and the risk that you're going to get hurt in the process. Those risks are very real, but if they're worth it to you, go for it. And if they're not worth it, that is a perfectly valid reason to walk away.