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1. Give a thumbs up.
2. Hitchhike.
3. Count to three in Sign Language.
4. Declare a thumb war.
5. Give a high “five.”
6. Operate a jetpack.
7. Self-administer morphine.
8. Steal a baby’s nose.
9. Eat olives off your fingers like a child king.
10. Insult an Iranian.
11. Condemn a Proto-Christian to death.
12. Display knowledge of awkward situations and turtle anatomy.
13. Be Jack Horner.
14. End an infomercial.
15. Rub it in non-primates’ faces.
16. Land any joke that ends with an emphatic “THIS GUY.”
17. Save the Netherlands from flooding.
18. Achieve success as a television film critic in the late 1980s and early 1990s.
19. Live a full and happy life free from the psychosocial fetters of modern technology.
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