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Here's Why "Paw Patrol" Is A Terrible Kids' Show

Down with pup patriarchy.

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1. Paw Patrol is the latest in a long line of kids shows that rely on incredibly stupid adults to drive the plot. At the top of list is the mayor. In this episode Alex offers to help row the boat, so she just puts down her oar and lets them go in circles...


7. All the pups have cool gadgets in their pup packs, but the sole original female pup, Skye, just has a pair of wings. So instead of flying a helicopter she can... fly. Why no gadgets for Skye? Why only one female? And why so pink, Paw Patrol?


12. They keep adding new gadgets and characters that expand the product line. The Lookout was apparently not enough for the team, so Ryder had to go out and get a gigantic truck called the Paw Patroller. It sells for $68.70 USD.


13. Now the Paw Patrol can go on road trips to different places! Translation: By just the second season the writing team ran out of story ideas based in Adventure Bay — the world they created from scratch.

16. Oh god, the constant catchphrases. "Whenever there's trouble just yelp for help." "No job is too big, no pup is too small," and on and on. Each of the pups has one, too. If I hear "Chase is on the case" one more time I am going to hate puppies forever.


18. The show has caused at least one person to lose their goddamn mind. This person creates strange character tributes on Vine, such as this. (Seriously, they have done like 20 of them, what is going on?)

19. And let's be honest, no one loses their mind as much as kids when it comes to Paw Patrol. They want to watch it constantly, and will rage-fight you if you say anything negative about it.