12 Healthy New Year's Resolutions You Could Actually Stick To

Because if you set low standards you might surprise yourself.

1. I will stop ordering pizza past 1 am.

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I would never suggest you give up on the relationship completely but just to stop giving into those late night cheesy booty calls.

2. I will not let more than four days go by without any physical activity.

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And clicking "watch next episode" on Netflix doesn’t count.

3. I will eat something green every day.

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Something besides guacamole, that is.

4. And while we're talking about guacamole...I won't eat Chipotle more than three times a week.

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Okay fine, four.

5. I will stop hating that one skinny bitch.

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Because it's not her fault she's a skinny bitch.

6. I will stop using my period as an excuse...

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...when I know very well I don't start for another two weeks

7. I will have confidence and know I'm beautiful without needing anyone to tell me.

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Okay, maybe just tell me one more time.

8. I will start drinking wine out of a glass and water out of a bottle.

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9. I will stop pretending coffee is a food group.

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10. I won't do this.

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Exceptions: going through a break up, friend is going through a break up (because you can't let her eat the whole thing by herself), watching Marley and Me.

11. I will stop considering hummus a meal...

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12. ...and grilled cheese as a snack.

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Eh, who are we kidding?

Happy 2014!