1. From a workplace notepad.
2. Break a leg, we don’t give a crap.
3. Yes, of course we have an “E.R.” in our “hospital.”
4. You know what — I’m just going to go shit somewhere else.
5. Fake IDs only, please.
7. “Mr. No One Else, please report to the staff room.”
8. …what you call “Valuables,” you poor, poor person.
9. Well, at least “Hi” is correct.
10. That’s really one word I NEVER want to see in quotes.
11. Gun store mocks self, LOL.
- Donald Trump promised insurance for everyone this weekend, but Senate Republicans say they assume he misspoke.
- Blue Lies Matter: Video finally proved that police officers lie — and why they get away with it.
- Obama shortened Chelsea Manning's 35-year sentence for leaking documents to WikiLeaks. She'll be freed in May.
- A Toronto man is on a mission to bathe at a different stranger's house every day this month. And so far, so good🛀