1. From a workplace notepad.
2. Break a leg, we don’t give a crap.
3. Yes, of course we have an “E.R.” in our “hospital.”
4. You know what — I’m just going to go shit somewhere else.
5. Fake IDs only, please.
7. “Mr. No One Else, please report to the staff room.”
8. …what you call “Valuables,” you poor, poor person.
9. Well, at least “Hi” is correct.
10. That’s really one word I NEVER want to see in quotes.
11. Gun store mocks self, LOL.
- Hillary Clinton's campaign was reportedly hacked as part of what appears to be a broad cyber attack on Democrats.
- Two brothers suspected of planning terror attacks have been arrested in Belgium, prosecutors say.
- Four people in Florida are likely the first to contract the Zika virus from mosquitos in the US, the state's governor says.