1. From a workplace notepad.
2. Break a leg, we don’t give a crap.
3. Yes, of course we have an “E.R.” in our “hospital.”
4. You know what — I’m just going to go shit somewhere else.
5. Fake IDs only, please.
7. “Mr. No One Else, please report to the staff room.”
8. …what you call “Valuables,” you poor, poor person.
9. Well, at least “Hi” is correct.
10. That’s really one word I NEVER want to see in quotes.
11. Gun store mocks self, LOL.
- In case you missed it: Trump and Clinton roasted each other at a charity dinner and it was awkward AF 😬
- It's not just you. A massive attack brought down major sites like Twitter and Spotify for some users in the US.
- A Mexican judge has approved the extradition of drug cartel leader Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán to the United States.
- People are trolling Eric Trump for apparently getting caught putting lemonade in a free water cup at In-N-Out.