1. From a workplace notepad.
2. Break a leg, we don’t give a crap.
3. Yes, of course we have an “E.R.” in our “hospital.”
4. You know what — I’m just going to go shit somewhere else.
5. Fake IDs only, please.
7. “Mr. No One Else, please report to the staff room.”
8. …what you call “Valuables,” you poor, poor person.
9. Well, at least “Hi” is correct.
10. That’s really one word I NEVER want to see in quotes.
11. Gun store mocks self, LOL.
- The Democratic National Committee on Monday apologized for remarks sent over email criticizing the Bernie Sanders campaign 🇺🇸
- Two people were killed and at least 16 others were injured in a shooting outside a nightclub in Fort Myers, Florida.
- Verizon is buying Yahoo's core business for about $5 billion, ending the web pioneer's run as an independent company.