Russian Toilet Paper Packaging

    Wipe your ass with a squirrel's tail. The Russians are apparently mildly obsessed with squirrels.

    Translation: "Tender and Mild. Very Friendly Paper!"
    So: tender, mild, and friendly—like a squirrel.
    That's a somewhat creepy looking squirrel.
    The "Hell Squirrel," by the way, is the official mascot of alcohol-induced psychosis in Russia. So of course a distillery then came out with a Hell Squirrel brand of vodka.