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Russian Toilet Paper Packaging

Wipe your ass with a squirrel's tail. The Russians are apparently mildly obsessed with squirrels.

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Translation: "Tender and Mild. Very Friendly Paper!"
So: tender, mild, and friendly—like a squirrel.
That's a somewhat creepy looking squirrel.
The "Hell Squirrel," by the way, is the official mascot of alcohol-induced psychosis in Russia. So of course a distillery then came out with a Hell Squirrel brand of vodka.