1. Unless it’s sex stories. Please share those.
2. Wait, does he have a date with twins? HOTT.
3. Well, yeah, don’t caress his ear hairs.
4. ONLY BORING WOMEN ARE EVER BORED.
5. Hey pal, tell your drunk as a skunk date to stop scratching my head.
6. Men don’t have “tears,” we call them eye sweat.
7. Pro tip, ladies: talk about sports, guns, and blowjobs.
8. Only carry gold monogrammed handkerchiefs — problem solved.
9. “Be ready to go when your date arrives” — LOL, never, amirite, gents?
- President Trump said he will skip the White House correspondents' dinner. Yesterday, he called the media "the enemy of the people."
- About a dozen people were critically injured when a vehicle plowed into a crowd during a Mardi Gras parade on Saturday, New Orleans police said.
- Tom Perez has been named chair of the Democratic National Committee. He was Obama's Labor Secretary.
- Here's the beef: Rapper Remy Ma dragged Nicki Minaj in a new diss track, who fired back with a Beyoncé endorsement 😱