We spend our whole lives hearing, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" But very seldom do we hear about the regret that can go into spontaneously choosing a lifelong career. It's scary to think about working day in and day out for the rest of your life at the same mundane job, or worse, a job that was never meant for you.
So when Reddit user u/Midwestmamax2 posed the question, "Do you have any career regrets?" in r/AskWomenOver30, I knew the answers would definitely hold some deeper insight:
1. "I’m currently working a low-paying job for amazing benefits because my husband agreed to take more on money-wise. He left me on Monday. So now I’m wondering if I can stay in the low-paying job and get medical benefits or go get a better paying job. I regret putting myself in this position. I should have stayed at the higher-paying jobs."
2. "I thought I needed to meet 90%+ of the requirements of a job posting to apply. I know now that I should totally go for jobs I’m interested in, even if I only meet 50%–60% of the requirements."
3. "I'm a pediatrician. I love kids, I love building relationships with families, and I love learning. The science of medicine never gets boring — it's always changing, it's interesting, and there's tons of variety. But knowing what I know now, I wouldn't do it. Simply put, it's really fucking hard to be a doctor. And sure, that seems obvious on its own, but there are so many lies about becoming a doctor that are sold to medical students."
4. "I wish I had followed my heart and gone to school for something I actually love, instead of what would give me the potential for a lucrative career. I’m in a pretty well-paying job now, but I don’t like going to work, and that sucks."
5. "I regret that we need 'careers.' I have two degrees in art history but ended up being a project manager because it pays better than anything in that field does, at least when starting out. Honestly, if one could actually live in the US on minimum wage and didn’t have to worry about health insurance, I would go back to working in a bookstore and spend the rest of my days stocking shelves and talking to people about books."
6. "My career is mostly regrets, lol. I regret going to law school. I regret doing corporate law. I regret even doing more public-interest-oriented law. The only thing I don't regret is eventually striking out on my own. I think if I had the chance to go back in time, I'd have done something in organizational psychology instead — probably some kind of strategic consulting."
"Basically, everyone I know who went into that line of work confirmed that it is not easy, can get stressful, but is ultimately dynamic and fun. I would have much preferred that type of career (back when I was younger and had the energy) to something as staid and uptight as the practice of law."
7. "I regret staying home to raise kids. I need work to occupy my brain. I feel like I have gotten dumber because I stayed home."
8. "Letting a sense of duty or loyalty determine whether I stay at a job instead of my own wellbeing. There are jobs that I knew right away were negatively impacting my mental health, and I stayed years hoping it would get better or being worried about leaving my coworkers in the lurch. Companies can, have, and will survive without me. It’s not my fault if they routinely understaff."
"My intuition is usually right; if there are red flags I see in the first few weeks, those are unlikely to significantly change. In the future, I will set a timeline and the types of changes I need to see by then if I’m going to choose to stay. If I don’t see them, I’ll have a plan for next steps to (hopefully) move on to another job."
9. "I hate my career, but it is perfect for my kids (hours, autonomy, flexibility). I wish I had cross-trained into something I could change to now and be my own boss or WFH more. I’m tired of what I’m doing. Soul-deep tired."
10. "I wanted to be a doctor when I was in high school, but 17-year-old me wasn't fond of the path to get there. Mainly, I didn't want to be 'stuck' on a 10-year track with no way to get off of it without saddling myself with huge amounts of debt. Do I regret it? Not really. But I did look at becoming a doctor again a few years ago, and I wish I had looked back into it a little bit earlier, maybe in my late 20s. I'm in my mid-30s now, and I feel like the door has closed for me."
"I know I could still do it at any time, as I don't doubt my ability to excel in academic environments, but everything else around it, like opportunity cost, the intensity of residency, the inability to choose where I want to end up for both school and residency — all those things don't sound appealing anymore when I want stability, community, and to put down roots. I also know that the grass can be greener on the other side, especially in healthcare in the US, where providers are facing burnout like no other. If I were to win the lottery tomorrow, I'd likely give it a shot and only apply to schools in areas I'd want to live in, but without the lottery money, it's not worth it since I already make a tech salary that is as high as some doctors."
11. "I'm a teacher, and I'm not happy. I wish I hadn't rushed to graduate when I realized that I wanted to major in computer science. I was already in my third year of college, and I didn't want to spend 3–4 other years at college. I just wanted to graduate on time, and now I look back and regret it. I plan on switching careers."
12. "I fell into my career (recruiting) and completely regret it. There are days I don’t mind it and actually like it, but for the most part, I hate it. It’s a very unstable career; when the times are good, it’s great, but when the job market tanks, it gets really bad. I should have done something more creative, technical, or mentally stimulating."
13. "I went into business for myself and became a boss, and I hated every minute of it. Never again will I be a boss or own a business, especially in this economy."
14. "I hate my career. HATE it. There are a million things I wish I would have done instead, but realistically, I don’t think I would have been capable of them at 18. For the most part, I think I made the best choices I could have made given who I was and what I was like back then, so I’ve mostly come to terms with my career field at this point. My biggest regret is staying in a toxic job as long as I did."
15. "I wish I hadn’t taken my first job out of graduate school. It was abusive as fuck, psychopath management, etc. The job ruined my health in ways that I’ll deal with for the rest of my life. I was caught up in competing with peers from school and felt like I needed to stick with this job because it was the only thing I got after graduation. I should’ve had higher standards for myself for how I want to be treated, but also be gentler with how I feel like I need to meet certain benchmarks to be 'successful.'"
And finally, this user shared how important it is to check in on yourself and not let the thought of "forever" fool you:
16. "My regret is thinking I need to decide on a 'forever career.' It only makes me feel constantly dissatisfied. It’s such a big thing to figure out! Now, I view it as 'what can I do in the short to medium term? What supports my life goals and priorities?' I re-evaluate occasionally: Do I need a change? How big of a change? Can I talk to other people who do other jobs to see what I might be able to work toward? This also ensures that I stay open to new opportunities that I wouldn't have ever thought of. There are so many jobs I didn’t know existed when I graduated from university, and I continue to learn about new ones. Who knows where I’ll end up!"
If you're 30+ and want to share your experience or any advice you have when it comes to career regrets, feel free to share your story in the comments!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.