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23 Jokes That Prove John Mulaney Can Make Literally Anyone Laugh

"You could pour soup on my lap and I'll probably apologize to you."

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1. When he described the difficulties of making a birthday sign:

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2. When his dog was his best friend, but not vice versa:

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3. When he buried his feelings deep down inside:

4. When he talked about how rude babies are:

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5. When he looked back on his childhood anxieties:

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6. When he pointed out how ridiculous modern politics can be:

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7. When he questioned dating norms:

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8. When it was pointed out that he has a penis:

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9. When he was afraid of eighth-graders:

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10. When he was worried about how much information his exes have:

11. When he was actually the worst driver:

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12. When he knew he would never be president:

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13. When he had the body of a child:

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14. When he hated confrontation even more than the rest of us:

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15. When people were surprised he had a social life:

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16. When his love of podcasts put him in danger:

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17. When his real estate agent really wanted him to have kids:

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18. When he roasted HGTV:

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19. When he talked about his looks:

20. When he pointed out how crime has changed:

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21. When every other person alive was more trustworthy than he was:

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22. When he maybe witnessed a miracle:

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23. And finally, when he discovered the euphoria of doing nothing:

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