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People with social anxiety have a tough enough time explaining their condition to friends. When you tell them that you just don’t like being around people and prefer to spend 99.99999% of your time alone, you get this reaction:
Over time, however, they learn to deal with it. They stop inviting you out anywhere, and you are happy.
But even though you love your alone time, you still long for a soul mate.
So you do what any socially anxious person looking for romance does: register for ALL THE SOCIAL NETWORKS EVER.
You craft the greatest profile in the history of online profiles. Seriously, this is the Big Daddy of profiles. It has your best pics (hot without looking sleazy), and your About Me section is the best piece of writing you’ve produced in your entire life.
You get tons of responses! From old men who clearly did not read or do not care about the age cutoff listed on your profile.
Eventually, you get an email from a guy who is a reasonable age and is just the right amount of hot.
You email back and forth for a bit. All is well until you inevitably get to the “What do you do for fun?” question.
So you spend 20 minutes trying to formulate the perfect way to get across that you don’t like going out without sounding like a freak. After 40 minutes, you realize the best way to deal with this is to be as vague as possible and hope he buys it.
After this, one of two things happens:
1. He tells you he spends most of his free time at gay clubs and/or bars.
2. He invites you to meet at a very popular, very crowded gay hotspot.
All you really want is a quiet place to meet, talk, get to know each other, and, if things go well, maybe sneak in a little kiss.
After several failed interactions with a few more guys, you take down your profile. You much rather prefer being alone than ever being caught in this situation:
So you wrap yourself up in your Snuggie, turn on Netflix, and grab yourself a snack.
For now, this is all the romance you need:
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