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1. A trusty smartphone printer that'll make you say, "Look at this photograph!" in your best Chad Kroeger voice.
2. A ceramic nonstick cookware set because, if nothing else, you could use a splash of color on your kitchen counter.
3. A washable mascara that'll actually stay on all day long — even after a heavy sweat.
4. A real, live bonsai tree, because Amazon actually has a tremendous selection of plants that you should be taking advantage of.
5. A facial cleansing brush for a spa-quality facial experience whenever you darn please.
6. A lightbulb cup (like, a liquid-carrying vessel), if a bulb just lit up over your head upon seeing this product image.
7. Come As You Are, a New York Times best-seller that gets at the science behind female sexuality and desire.
8. A comfy, loose V-neck shirt you won't want to take off for the rest of summer.
9. A makeup-removing solution that might just be the solution your stubborn done-up face needs.
10. A mini waterproof Bluetooth speaker, so you can travel from place to place without a worry that it'll get damaged.
11. A Phillips Sonicare electric toothbrush and travel case, because you're looking to earn full marks at your next dentist appointment.
12. A black-out curtain set, if you're the type of person who can't get a wink of sleep unless you're basically in a dark womb.
13. A treat-tossing pet camera, so you can spy on your pet and make sure they get treats even when you're miles away.
14. A fancy infusion water bottle, if you suck at staying hydrated and a hint of fruit is exactly the nudge you need.
15. The LifeStraw, a personal water filter that can truly make the gnarliest of gnarly water taste delicious. (Time to plan your next filter-centric camping trip!)
16. Triangle, a funny and beautifully illustrated (and aptly named) book that kids and adults will enjoy in equal measure.
17. A vacuum-insulated water bottle you'll want to take with you (ahem, take with ya) everywhere you go.
18. A Bissell wet-dry vacuum worth the investment that'll give you squeaky-clean floors for, quite possibly, the first time in your life.
19. Shit I Can't Remember, a book you can use to jot down all of that shit you can never seem to remember (also known as passwords) in.
20. A compact air purifier that'll zap all the odors and allergens floating around your living space.
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.