Pairing Menus For Breaking Bad News

Some delicious dinner options for those times when you can't quite figure out what's appropriate while potentially breaking someone's heart at a restaurant.

The We Need to Talk

Via dearmartini.wordpress.com

Whiskey Neat

before your significant other shows up

Frisée Salad with Lardons and Poached Eggs

this salad's tangled web of greens remind you of the web of lies you've told one another, and the running yolks of broken promises. Pairs well with: another whiskey.

Grilled Filet Mignon

cooked rare to remind yourself that blood still runs through your veins. Pairs well with: some examples of how you haven't been very happy lately.

Chocolate Lava Cake

because why haven't you said anything yet? Oh god dinner's almost over.

French Press Coffee

neither of you will ever drink French Press again because you're going to spend two hours staring at this instead of making eye contact with one another while you explain why you aren't in love anymore.

I Could Really Use a Little Extra Money Right Now

Via tamarindandthyme.wordpress.com

Southwestern Corn Chowder

Split with your mother to demonstrate you can make financially responsible decisions. Pairs well with:

Chicken with Asparagus Remoulade

This is the second cheapest meat dish on the menu. Pairs well with: a decent house wine that isn't too pricey.

Butterscotch Bread Pudding

Pairs well with: a cup of coffee because you're going to have to stay awake while you're parents talk about how things were different in their day.

I'm Gay

Butternut Squash Amuse Bouche

I mean, they probably already know, right? Pairs well with: rosé because they definitely already know. They have to.

Walnut Pear Gorgonzola Salad

Why do you keep ordering things with the word "nut" in them? Pairs well with: the nicest red wine your parents are willing to pay for because who knows if they'll ever buy you anything again after this?

Seared Ahi Tuna

served on a bed of wasabi sticky rice because your parents aren't homophobes and will stick with you no matter what. Pairs well with: anything stronger than wine.

Assortment of Cheeses and Fruits

Adelost Bleu, Pecornio Romano, and a sharp cheddar paired with seasonal fruits because the least you can do is have a sense of humor about it. Pairs well with: love, kindness, and openness about your dating life, eventually.

We're Going Under

Via cookingclassy.com

A Bowl of Chili with Crackers

Look, our entire company is being liquidated, we can't afford anything better than this. Pairs well with: a bottle of cheap scotch you'll buy from the liquor store and crack open on the way home.