1. Will Smith:
At this point I’ve lost count how many times Will Smith has saved the world from aliens. It has been at least 4 times, probably more. Will Smith has also survived the apocalypse in New York City. Not to mention he is also a badass detective and a civil war hero that battled a giant mechanical spider in the old West. But really, if aliens attack he is the number one guy I am calling. He’ll just punch that mother in its ugly alien face while protesting that he should have been at a barbeque. Welcome to Earth.
2. Bruce Willis:
How Bruce Willis and Will Smith have never had to team up to save the Earth is far beyond me. Bruce Willis’ resume is probably just as long, if not longer than Smith’s when it comes to the saving of humanity, as we know it. Now Bruce Willis is tricky. He’s got this weird “time” thing going on. He is obviously from the future, there is no question about that. He knows all about flying New York taxis and going on a cruise to outer space. He saved the world from complete destruction by helping to find some ancient ass stones with a whiney Chris Tucker is a cheetah print suit. Thank God Looper happened though so we were able to figure out how exactly Bruce got back from the future in time to stop an asteroid from pummeling Earth in the 90s. It also explains how he didn’t actually die on that asteroid saving Ben Affleck’s life. He just loopered himself to some other element of time. How about the time he was in a devastating train accident and he was not only the sole survivor but also he came out completely unscathed? This guy has seen it all, aliens, explosions, Snape as a terrorist and some creepy kid that can see dead people.
Also, when he ran out of bullets he used his car to stop the terrorists. HIS. CAR.
3. Norman Reedus:
Have you SEEN Boondocks Saints? It’s really all the proof you need but Norman Reedus decided to one up us and flaunt that he is a seriously impressive zombie killer. If the world went to shit by way of zombies instead of aliens or giant asteroids he is without a doubt my top pick to hide behind. The way he handles that crossbow is what dreams are made of.
4. Samuel L. Jackson:
Do we even need an explanation? Like, SERIOUSLY? It’s Samuel L. fucking Jackson and he is holier than thou. Sharks, snakes, gangsters, Sith Lords, DINOSAURS…Shaft! Sammy Jax has been through it all and continues to make us all look like lessers when bathed in his majestic light.
5. Daenerys Targaryen:
SHE. OWNS. DRAGONS. Real, fire breathing dragons. If that can’t win I don’t know what can and I am ready to give up the fight.
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- Mall of America, the largest mall in the country, is hosting its first ever black Santa 🎅🏿