1. Getting gas.
Why can't my car just refill itself automatically? Remember how movies back in the early 90s depicted the 2000s, with flying cars and what not? I bet those flying cars were self-filling. We should be at that point. Anyway, I usually drive my car (lovingly named Caroline) until she's running on fumes. I don't want to spoil her by filling her tank before she's completely empty. The girl needs to learn the lessons of modesty.
2. Buying tampons.
Not because I'm "embarrassed" but mostly just because I hate doing it. Usually when I go to the store, I'm buying food. But tampons require me to go ACROSS the store to the other side, the non-food side, to purchase an absolutely necessary product. And as a side note, I feel that the boxes tampons come in are especially sharp. It's like the edges are made of some sort of cardboard razors that just immediately slash through your shopping bag. Bastards.
3. Replacing a toilet paper roll.
I think this is most annoying when you live with people and they finish off a roll, but DON'T REPLACE IT. SERIOUSLY. Are they thinking, "Oh, I'm leaving the next person who comes in a nice piece of fluffy cardboard to wipe with. How thoughtful of me!" Even worse is when you get into a competition to not finish the roll. Like you use one square of paper, so as to leave three squares still on the roll, thus preventing you from having to replace it. Because "there's still paper on it."
4. Plucking my eyebrows.
Trust me, this is a VERY necessary thing. If you had seen me in my natural state in 6th grade, with the eyebrows of Andy Rooney, you'd agree. I just find it so time consuming. And sometimes painful. And you're probably thinking, "Why not just get them waxed?" That just seems too rational for me. And I need it to round out my list of first world problems.
5. Taking out the trash.
I'd like to semi-relate this to my mention of self-filling gas. Why don't we have robots that can just grab the bag, walk it out of our house, and to the dumpster? And maybe that robot could also vacuum the floors. And fold the laundry. Essentially be that robot from "The Jetsons." God, I would pay money for that. Or, I suppose I could just get a husband to serve the same function. I'm taking applications. As a sidenote, during college we would pile trash in the trash can like a leaning Tower of Trash Pisa until finally someone gave in and took it out. It was a competition. Similar to the one where we didn't want to fill the Brita filter. What can I say. Living with us was like competing in the Olympics everyday.
Even worse is when I have to get gas, buy tampons, replace a toilet paper roll, pluck my unibrow, AND take out the trash in the same day. I know you pity me. Life is hard. And when this happens, all I'm thinking is:
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