Public White House Tours Cancelled? So What!

Who wants a boring Obama tour when you can enjoy the surreal closed caption pleasures of the Kennedy White House! Let’s go! Some highlights:

1. Drop the kiddies off!

kindergarten kicking and screaming

2. I’m sure whatever facilities you have will be fine!

or you’re going to use a four hundred orphanage

3. I’m not fond of the big lights myself..

deterrent with god

4. Well those god hating chandeliers might be responsible.

might not have a future to exhibition

5. Problem solved!

i pay heaven to bestow the best of blessings and

6. Maybe you’ll be the lucky visitor to find it!

this is the end of the room that has not been found

7. OK guys, George will show you out.

men leave this time

8. But if you behave you can stay.

or the men who wait to denounce it now

9. The Household Wormhole, helpful in covering pesky distances.

leads across the white house to the states are

10. Maybe tweak that thing a little..

the staircase goes up to the second floor which i a north korea

11. So the White House Chicken will not always be in residence?

chicken loaned to it

12. The Turkey isn’t here either? FYI, call ahead if you want to meet the State Poultry!

he was lucky to have to take turkey with him

13. Aww Glittery Kittens are talented! Are they related to LOLCats?

chest octave commission glittery kittens

14. Nowadays we put people like that in jail!

epicurious vice president

15. Ya think? I hope that VP isn’t planning dinner tonight.

seems to me the roots of the intended victim quality

16. Maybe the Aliens shouldn’t be allowed to sit on the table then!

any president often faced attack connectedness

17. Had no idea he dabbled in Robotics.

that’s right fifty and I was designed by franklin roosevelt

18. Well, let him out!

isn’t just an fyi it’s feeling that they keep electric lincoln in the dining

19. Note to self, add Abe on LinkedIn.

he with the contemporary linkedin

20. But of course!

for reasons of careers fascination

21. New Stealth design? No one will suspect flying lettuce.

beautifullest airline

22. Yeah! This is why You are giving the tour!

and he checked the stupidest things

23. They had ridic Mods back then too eh?

it’s laughing at mods composed credit in eighteen twenty-four

24. How about a ruckus?

what is this room use for misconduct

25. Bummer, but it is the White House, gotta keep up appearances.

and now the trend look stupid existed and demeanor

26. Yeah that looks painful alright! (Is that included in the cost of the tour?)

expensive and that was in pain content

27. There’s a pool?

do you mind living in a house the president many visitors of the swim

28. Party pooper.

gross

29. Take the tour yourself! Have fun!

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

 
  Your Reaction?
 

    Contributions

    Hot Buzz

    Khloé Kardashian Just Fired Back At Body-Shamers For Calling Her Too Thin

    We Swam In A Pool Of Sprinkles And It Was Just Fine

    Now Buzzing