10 Albums I Will Likely Pre-Order On iTunes (Based On The Album Art Alone)

Go ahead, judge the book by its cover. Because sometimes, we're all slaves to advertising.

1. The Decemberists- What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World (Jan. 20th)

israbox.com / Via Israbox

Look at that magnificent shit. No really, take a good long look. Is it a patchwork quilt made after you dropped acid and read D'Aulaire's Greek Mythology? Is it a Tomie dePaola erotic novel? Don't care- take my money.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Make You Better

2. Father John Misty- I Love You, Honeybear (Feb. 10th)

cdn4.pitchfork.com / Via Pitchfork

Is that a freaking gargoyle next to freaking Jesus?

If I were still in undergrad, there would be an unsolicited essay on my advisor's desk about this album art. Some of us are suckers for iconography, some of us are suckers for quality illustration with color palettes reminiscent of John Graham. Some of us just like weird stuff. And all of us would buy this album.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins)

3. Night Riots- Howl EP (Jan. 20th)

altpress.com / Via AltPress

If Eli Roth and Robert Rodriguez had a baby, and that baby directed a grindhouse movie set in rural Maine, this would be a still from that movie. Bring. It. Onward.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Contagious

4. Lupe Fiasco- Tetsuo & Youth (Jan. 20th)

ccdn.hiphopdx.com / Via Hip Hop DX

Oh Lupe. What have you done, you beautiful bastard? If you want to send a message about profundity to come, go ahead and pick out a modern art piece to plaster all over your music. And never one to let us forget the hardness within, there is an expertly placed skull. It is everything the cover art for My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy wanted to be, and couldn't.

... Please don't come after me, Kanye.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Adoration of the Magi (feat. Crystal Torres)

5. Labrinth- Take Me to the Truth (Mar. 16th)

play.com / Via Play

Labrinth is staring out from this excellent typography and on point color scheme with the world weariness of a young Luther. Not Martin (of door nailing or dream having fame) or Vandross, but John Luther, long-suffering detective. The difference being that the BBC Luther was never quite this well lit.

Mister Sulu, set coordinates to my soul.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Jealous

6. Jazmine Sullivan- Reality Show (Jan. 13th)

rap-up.com / Via Rap-Up

Unlike actual reality shows, no woman ever looks that on point. The glance of longing or disdain to the side? The muted wall? The old school technology? The typography font that so clearly didn't cost $300 to license it almost becomes more fashionable? Sold.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Dumb (feat. Meek Mill)

7. Marilyn Manson- THE PALE EMPEROR (Jan. 20th)

assets.blabbermouth.net.s3.amazonaws.com / Via Amazon

Marilyn Manson is a spooky sort of guy, and he needs a spooky sort of cover. If I squint really hard, this could be Annie Lennox. Marilyn Manson doesn't need color in his covers. All he needs is that suit, an artfully blurred face and the silent implication that if I hold this album up in the bathroom mirror and say his name three times, he will appear beside me, murmuring the lyrics to Careless Whisper.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Cupid Carries a Gun

8. Aaron Watson- The Underdog (Feb. 17th)

assets.rollingstone.com / Via Rolling Stone

This looks like a rodeo cowboy who cried over his lover ten minutes before this photo was taken, directly after which he had one historic last bait before he was gored by a bull named Esteban. Matthew McConaughey is set to play him in the film adaptation.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: That Look

9. Marina and the Diamonds- FROOT (Apr. 6th)

i.imgur.com / Via MarinaBoards

Is that Jem? Or simply a gorgeous, mournful looking human with impossibly good hair languishing under the rainbow disco lights? Either way, I want to reach through, offer up a single-armed hug, some red wine and a night filled with Edie Brickell songs to get over whatever happened. Which I sense may be Lisa Frank exploding before her very eyes.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Happy

10. The Lone Bellow- Then Came the Morning (Jan. 27th)

jambands.com / Via Jam Band

Who the hell is this old woman who just escaped from a motel in Arkansas? How is she taking that coffee? How is it that something that may have broken the hipster continuum is still doing it for me? The Lone Bellow are clearly mustachioed warlocks.

I did not fact check whether or not they actually possess mustaches, but look at the album cover. There's a 70% shot they do.

Track to Redeem Consumerism: Then Came the Morning