We all know those age-old sayings and pieces of advice we live by from a young age. But then we get older and wonder if the advice we stood by for so long was actually any good. Well, redditor u/Angel_for_u recently asked the r/AskReddit community to share the widely accepted piece of advice they find to be terrible. Here are just a few of those that people no longer follow.
1. "'Don't go to bed angry.' Yes, do that. It's better than arguing when you're tired and irritable. Most things look better in the morning."
2. "'Never give up.' Sometimes, if something isn't working, you need to let go."
"This advice kept me in a bad marriage far longer than I should have stayed."
3. "'When there's a bully, just ignore them.' Sorry, but most bullies won't stop just because you ignore them. Sometimes you gotta put them in their place."
4. "'Don't be afraid to do what you love, and the money will follow.' This can be true, but it also could get you in a lot of trouble."
5. "'Tough it out.' No. Do not tough it out. Talk about it, take breaks, have a meal, and think it over. If you are sick, toughing it out won't fix that. If you are depressed, toughing it out won't fix that. If you are hurt, toughing it out won't fix that. Take care of yourself and then keep going, or you'll run yourself into the ground."
6. "'Forgive and forget' should be 'Forgive but don’t forget' because 9 out of 10 times, people's poor behavior is part of a behavioral pattern. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me for giving you the chance."
"As a kid, I strongly believed in forgiving, and I still think it's the moral high ground if you can. But I don't think you should always have to forgive. There are occasions when someone hurt you too much and has no remorse over it. Why forgive someone like that? If you can, I think you are admirable, but if you can't, I completely understand. You're only human, after all."
7. "'Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life.' This might work for 1% of people. It makes the rest of us feel like we're doing it wrong."
8. "'What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger' — or it tears you apart and makes you an unrecognizable shell of yourself. The sad thing is that life can hurt you so bad that you won’t be the same anymore."
9. "'Stay for the kids/avoid a broken home.' Honey, if your parents loathe each other, you not only see it, you feel it, you suffer from it, and you probably blame yourself. Stop fucking your kids up and admit you hate each other. You can be AMAZING co-parents and never see each other face-to-face. Two STABLE homes are far happier than one in turmoil."
10. "'Give 100% in everything.' No. Give enough to get it done at a decent level. The extra effort usually doesn't pay off."
"I like my current job, but if 80% is all I need to give to get the right results, then that's what I'm doing. I feel healthier knowing there's another gear I can use if I have to."
11. "'When you grow up, you'll understand.' Bruh, I'm 24 now, and I don't understand shit."
12. "'If she says NO, pursue her harder.' WORST dating advice."
13. "That blood (as in family) is enough to connect you with someone. I really don’t feel close at all with most of my extended family. My family is Mexican, so they put a high value on blood. They love me simply for being their blood and expect the same of me, but I don’t (there is a big age gap and I just don’t connect with them). On the other hand, I am close with people I’m not blood-related to but love as if they were my siblings."
14. "'Kill them with kindness.' Sometimes people are jerks who step way over the line, and I have no problem calling them on it. I’ve dealt with enough bullies in my life to stand up to people who start drama on the regular. I appreciate the same candidness from my friends."
15. "'Fake it till you make it.' Uhh, no. Faking anything doesn't make anyone feel better."
16. "'Treat people how you want to be treated.' You'll be taken advantage of. Instead, I treat people the way they treat me."
17. "'It doesn't hurt to ask.' It can absolutely hurt to ask. It can be a sign that you have no respect or care for someone's position or situation and that you may thoughtlessly be putting them in a situation where they need to tell you something you should already know."
18. "'Ask for forgiveness, not permission.' So shockingly obvious how this could backfire in any number of personal or professional scenarios."
19. '"Trust your gut.' I have anxiety; my gut is virtually always telling me to panic and never do anything."
20. "'Just be yourself.' The spirit of this, I agree with completely. But so many people think it means to act however they want without consequences. You still have to modulate your behavior in such a way that it is appropriate in a given social situation. Just being yourself means living in accordance with your own values and pursuing your own goals. It does not mean be a dick and say every vile thing that pops into your head and then be indignant when it’s received badly."
21. "This may be an unpopular opinion, but 'You can't expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself first.' I get it, but I think a lot of people say that because they don't want to deal with certain types of people. Listen, not everyone can be filled with self-love. It can take years to learn this. In fact, some people can interpret this as they shouldn't even attempt to find love because they don't love themselves, and I think that is so wrong."
Is there a common piece of advice that you don't agree with? Let us know in the comments or fill out this anonymous Google form.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.