1. Shop for your home at the local dump.
2. Hire some hot scientists to test the inside of your new home for pathogens.
3. Secure your home from being 'serviced': The sound of a garbage truck will haunt you.
4. Pass on the bamboo: opt for carbon-neutral cardboard.
5. Find a trashy chick: Preferably one that doesn't require a lot of hygiene from her man.
6. Save $$$ on water: Haul your drinking water from the local lake.
7. Solicit friends and co-workers for air fresheners.
8. Do a kitchen makeover: a camp stove, a packet of ramen and a carton you found out of a dumpster will do just fine.
9. Invest in roofing: because a leak will cost you.
10. Raid other dumpsters for your household appliances.
11. Use adequate signage lest people toss trash in your house.
12. Make yourself seem 'normal' by breaking out the weirdos.
13. Get a lightning iPhone app: Because you don't wanna go out like that.
14. Live off the land.
15. The 'Parade of Homes Neighborhood Home Tour' should be a weekly ordeal.
16. Get 'theft' coverage on your entire home.
17. Have 'good clean' fun (most of the time).
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