24 Things You'll Only Know If You Went To Escape Every Weekend

An entire post that pays homage to some of the best (and most hideous) years of my life. Because you’ll only get this if you lived in Lowestoft as a young frivolous adult between 2008 and 2015. It was a grand time to be alive. Before the council shut down the club or whatever. Here’s the things you’ll only know if you went to Winelodge or Escape nightclub every weekend....

1. You're at Winelodge. You've arrived early to buy yourself a drink to save yourself some money on the Escape door. You get your heels stuck to the laminate floor

You try and convince the doormen you're not drunk. No, honestly. Then you remember it doesn't matter – they know you, they usher you in like old friends. Your heart melts with happiness <3

2. Then having to queue for another 10 minutes just to get into Escape, but who even cares because OMG you know everyone in here.

3. It's a Thursday evening 241 and you buy yourself two desperados and spend the entire night boogying down with one in each hand like a right bad bitch.

4. Someone starts a fight in the swimming pool. I mean, on the dance floor. All six bouncers come racing from all directions. You hang over the edge of the banisters and watch on in excitement, this is definitely the highlight of your evening.

5. But wait, you're a bit bored? Maybe you'll leave your real friends to go on a solo adventure/a loop of Escape to find some other fun people. Then just spending about 78 per cent of the night just walking round in circles looking for someone to hang with.

6. You walk past a group of people sat in the corner drinking around a bottle, oh whats that..... MOET? What a fucking baller, you.

7. Then deciding that YES YOU NEED ALL THE £1 SHOTS from the shot bar. You'll order three, no wait, make it five. You're out of control.

8. Going to the loo and discussing the overwhelming poo smell with complete strangers. No, but like, why is it THIS stinky?

9. Speaking of poo, did we ever find out who shit on the ladies bathroom floor that time?

10. Leaving a friend throwing up over themselves in the loo, because they'll be fine. This is Oulton Broad guys, we all know each other, nothing bad could ever possibly happen. Nope.

11. Getting your photo with the club photographer Gazza Leer, cos he's such a babe. Obvs.

12. Marching on to Bar and Canteen for cocktails and Broadview because you be so hella fancy. But wait, it's kind of boring in here? Back to Escape we go.

13. Going outside and looking for people in the smoking area. Ending up chain smoking for an hour with someone you think you *may* have met once before. Failing that, some twat from high school.

14. Someone sending you a HUSH HUSH Facebook event invite and laughing in their face. Wondering if they have the most pointless job in the entire world. Nope, nothing can stop you getting to your second home, nothing.

15. Pretty sure I've just seen Lee Reeder? Nah, couldn't have been him. I saw on Facebook earlier that he's in the North sea somewhere. Oh wait, it is him! He's out in full force with the offshore lads #bants #cheeky

16. It's 2am and you've stayed out until the very end and they turn the lights on and suddenly everything's very grotty and real. You want to carry the night on, so you and your friends go in search for a party.

17. Walking past Manhattan kebab shop and thinking, yeah, yeah I could go for a 2am second dinner right about now. Drunkenly flirting with the kebab man and hoping he'll just let you have a free piece of chicken because YOLO you're so hot.

18. And if you didn't go to Manhatten, you most definitely went back to a MJB apartment party, and trashed a £8 hotel room with thirty other people.

19. Waking up with the Escape stamp of shame imprinted on your cheek where you'd fallen asleep against it AND IT BEING THE HARDEST THING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD TO REMOVE.

20. It's a Monday morning and the nerves are creeping in that you're going to be tagged in one of Escape albums from people you swear you've never met in your life.

21. Oh wait, is that a tag from Jackson Martins? I FINALLY MADE IT!!!

22. Bumping into people you only know from Escape in sober daylight and not knowing whether to hide from them and avoid awkwardness or try and be real life friends with them too. Choosing the first option.

23. Six years on, still having 50 per cent of your Facebook friends as people you pretty much only know from night's out in Oulton Broad. Seeing they now have children. Wondering at what point you all got so fucking old. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

24. But hey, we still have the best beer garden in the UK, right?