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Here's What Every Province Would Be If They Were Canadian Beer

And Ontario needs a beer.

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1. British Columbia would be a bottle of Millennium Buzz Hemp Amber Lager.

lcbo.ca

This beer is light in body and so chill in every other way. It's the type of beer you crave after hittin' the waves in Tofino or reaching the peak of the mighty Rockies.

By the way, anyone else hungry?

2. Alberta would be a pint of Smokey The Beer.

beermebc.com

48% of Alberta is covered in lush boreal forest. Only YOU can prevent wildfires, but everyone can enjoy this oaky, toasty Rauchbier. You can practically taste the province's famous wildlife and national parks.

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4. Manitoba would be a big bottle of Beau's All Natural Lug-Tread.

beaus.ca

Manitoba is another powerhouse on the prairie, supplying us all with endless McCain's and McDonald's french fries (here's a personal thank you for that!). Manitobans know how to get down and gritty, and Lug-Tread is a real working man's brew with a thirst-quenchingness level at a 10.

5. Ontario would be a tall can of Muskoka.

lcbo.com

Ontario, you've had a lot to deal with recently. We recommend you crack open a can of Muskoka, sit back, let the calm of the lakes soothe you over. You need this.

6. Quebec would be a tall bottle of Shawinigan Handshake.

theontariobeerwidow.blogspot.com

If Québec doesn't like the cut of your gib, it will let you know, unapologetically. Just like our then-Prime Minister, Jean Chretien did when confronted with a protester in Hull in 1996.

This actual Quebec beer, like our Quebecois friends, is mostly sweet with an edgy bitter afternote.

7. Newfoundland and Labrador would be a glass of La Fin du Monde.

theyearinbeer.wordpress.com

When explorers first founded Canada, it's said that they thought they had reached the end of the world (or, "la fin du monde" in French). This new found land would then become Newfoundland (very clever).

8. New Brunswick would be a bottle of Kentucky Bastard.

Via lcbo.com

NB recently held a lottery to give one lucky winner a chance to buy (at $300) a rare bottle of Pappy Van Winkle Family Reserve bourbon. For anyone in New Brunswick who entered and lost, here's a name to call the winner and a bourbon-aged beer to drink away the misery.

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9. Prince Edward Island would be a can of Red Racer India Style Red Ale

untappd.com

Remind you of someone? Maybe P.E.I.'s most famous nerd, Anne of Green Gables all grown up? Also, Charlottetown was recently credited with being one of the most bikeable downtown cores of Canada. Dip someone's pigtails in black ink, then celebrate with this coppery ale.

11. Yukon would be 18 Karat Ale.

Via beermebc.com

Over 100,000 prospectors headed North for the Klondike Goldrush in the Yukon Territories in 1896. This golden ale has notes of caramel and might make you feel like a millionaire.

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