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Take this quiz (despite your better judgment), and you'll see why you should've trusted your first instincts to not do this. The frogs are calling to you...are you really going to let them go to voicemail now...

On the left, a tiny little frog on a flower stem labeled existential dread, and on the right, a bug frog on a piece of wood labeled wicked wizard

There's A Very Specific Type Of Frog That Matches Your Personality – Take This Quiz To Reveal Which One

What Frog Are You Quiz

Whether You Like It Or Not, You're A Frog – Let's Find Out Which One

How would you punish your enemy(ies)?

What pastry inspires the most fear?

Choose a realm for you to stake your claim

How would you feel about conversing with snakes?

Finally, which loaf of bread do you think carries the most trauma?

Being an overbearing swamp lord takes work, and you would know. Collecting rent, bribing the HOA to elect you as president (again), and micromanaging the lily pads so that even the flies fear your wrath. Now, with all this hard and absolutely necessary work, you need some time to unwind, so you draw a bath and slip into the grossly glossy covers of a drugstore romance novel. Pretending all the while that you don't wish to be swept away from your banal existence.

brown and black frog on gray concrete surface

Froggan

Sometimes you wake up in the night and feel the wind glide across your slimy skin and you skulk across the swamp. An agent of chaos, you bow to no one, mostly because you haven't figured out how to without looking like a dork and ruining the Hamlet-esque angst you wear like an oversized sweater. You need to brood, with style of course, so you opt for gloomy mornings and dark coffee that you gaslight yourself into thinking you're able to handle.

Existential Dread

The Old Gods may have abandoned you, but that doesn't mean you aren't anxiously awaiting their return with candles and incense. When you're not cursing poxes upon your vast array of enemies and watching conspiracy sketch comedy videos, you're hoping to find a suitable nobleperson to court. Maybe, with a kiss, they'll return you to your rightful form and your once prosperous fiefdom can rise from the ashes. *longing sigh*

brown and white mushroom on green grass during daytime

Wicked Wizard

You're beauty, grace, and if they touch your flower, you'll spit in their face. Be completely honest, how many multilevel marketing schemes have you pioneered? Actually, you can't answer that question because then you'd have to answer to the FBI, and who needs bureaucracy when you can peace, love, and scam your way all the way to the top? Flower crowns can grow thorns, and your amphibious intellect is ready to eat any fly that dares to stop you (or really just any fly, in general).

Peace, Love, and Heinous Violence

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There's A Very Specific Type Of Frog That Matches Your Personality – Take This Quiz To Reveal Which One

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