1. You arrive 40 minutes earlier than you actually need to.
2. There's a chance that you arrive overdressed.
3. Or perhaps even underdressed.
4. On the way up to your office, there's always that awkward silence.
5. You're forced to awkwardly introduce yourself in front of the whole office.
6. And then people introduce themselves to you all at once.
7. Upon talking to your coworkers, you realise that you've forgotten their names but you're too deep into the conversation to ask what it is.
8. So you end up waiting for someone to call their name.
9. On the way to the toilet, you get lost but feel way too awkward to ask anyone for help.
10. You bump into a coworker in the bathroom and feel awkward knowing that there's a high chance one of you had pooped.
11. You then sit at the desk, worrying about someone bringing up said poop session.
12. You're thirsty but you're way too awkward to make coffee or tea in the kitchen.
13. When you do eventually build up the courage to use the coffee machine, you end up breaking it.
14. You make awkward small talk when you bump into anyone in the kitchen.
Awkward Office Small Talk: Me: "how was your vacation?" Coworker: "Good." Me: "Where did you go?" Cw: "New York City. Friend got married." Me: "Cool." Cw: "Thanks for asking." Me" "Yep."
15. You have no idea where to sit for lunch. Or who to sit with.
16. At lunch you overshare about your embarrassing stories to the point you regret your entire existence.
17. And then you make a joke that's so terrible than no one ends up laughing.
18. You accidentally hit "reply all" which results in you sending a mass e-mail to the whole office.
19. You lean back on your chair and it makes that squeak which sounds painfully similar to a fart.
20. And then you try to redo said chair sound to prove that it was the chair and not you.
when ur chair makes a fart noise and then you try to replicate it so nobody thinks u farted but the chair decides to be on mute ..
21. You stretch your leg under the desk only for it to brush against your coworker's leg.
22. You have to sign a leaving card for someone you've never spoken to.
23. After saying your goodbyes to your coworkers, you realise that they're going the same way as you.
24. But despite these inevitable awkward moments, you'll make memories that'll last a lifetime.
