12 Essential Tips For A Gentleman To Blag At Tennis

Top tips for the uninitiated gentleman to blag their way through a social game of tennis with either their boss, father-in-law or other persons that you would consider their betters.

1. Being able to play is not essential

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One would assume that a basic ability to play would be the starting point. However members of tennis clubs the world over will know that being wholly uncoordinated, unfit, possessing no technique and being unable to hit the ball does not prevent a person being an active member of a prestigious tennis club. Confidence is key, no matter how badly you feel you are doing... act as if you belong.

2. Something you should know about Logos and Brands

It will be overwhelmingly tempting to go out and buy a whole array of brand new matching equipment and apparel to coordinate. You will look and feel the part. This is wrong. Regular tennis players collect a vast amount of mismatched and mixed brand clothing and equipment. Instead you should try to ensure that either no two items are of the same brand or choose clothing with absolutely no branding whatsoever. If you turn up in an brand new all Wilson "outfit", you will immediately give yourself away.

3. Choosing a Racquet

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There is no "best" racquet out there. There are a whole multitude of options designed to suit different styles and types of players. As a gentleman player trying to blag, the general rule is that you should not be seen using a racquet with a head size greater than 102cm2 and a unstrung weight less than 280g, grip sizes L3, L4 or L5 are acceptable unless you have tiny delicate little hands. The grip size is measured in eights of an inch.

GRIP 0 is 4 .0 inches

GRIP 1 is 4 1/8 inches

GRIP 2 is 4 1/4 inches

GRIP 3 is 4 3/8 inches

GRIP 4 is 4 1/2 inches

GRIP 5 is 4 5/8 inches

For most men...go for grip 3, 4 or 5.

If queried about your racquet, the following explanations may help.

Head size: The size of the racquet face usually expressed in square cm or inches. Anything under 98cm2 is smaller racquet head designed for control anything over 102cm2 is oversized and designed for increasing power.

Unstrung Weight: The weight of the racquet without strings. Under 280g is lightweight 280-300 mid-weight and 300+ heavier.

Swingweight: How heavy the racquet feels when you swing.

Head Light / Head Heavy: The balance of the racquet between head and handle.

Beam: Is the thickness of the racquet frame.

Racquets usually string in either 20 x 18 or 19 x 16, the former is for greater control, the latter has more pop and spin.

If asked about how you have your racquet strung, pretend to be embarrassed and simply state that you've not had a chance to replace the factory strings yet.

All of this information is conveniently displayed on the inside of the racquet neck. Commit these numbers to memory. When asked express the answer as "I think it's..." despite the fact you know the answer exactly.

Buying last season's racquet in the clearance sale is a great way to save money buying excellent quality racquets for under £100.00. Do not conceal that you have done this. You should feel confident making a joke about other people spending three times as much because the paint is a bit different. It lets others know that you are not tricked by a lot of the racquet technology advertising. Referring to the latest BLX, Graphene or Biotech technology does not impress unless done so in dismissive tones.

If you find a racquet you like and are able to afford to do so buy a pair. This gives the impression that you are a serious player prepared for anything.

4. Net Height

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If possible arrive before your opponent and slightly raise the height of the net by a couple of turns. Then when they arrive you can express your view that you think the net "looks a little high". You can then lower the net back to the correct height using the measuring stick to confirm your excellent judgement.

5. Tennis Headgear

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Having some kind of headware to deal with the sun /conditions can sometimes be important. However it is absolutely vital you understand the rules for wearing them.

Bandana - Only to be worn by players who are fit enough and tanned enough to get away with it. Unacceptable on most players.

Visor - Visors may be worn by most players, however you are advised to only wear them when the sunlight and condition require it. Removing at changes of ends.

Caps - Unlike visors, these are permitted at both ends of the Court. However you must resist the urge to wear them backwards or at any other intolerable, jaunty angle.

Headbands - Only acceptable on children under 14 and gentlemen over 50.

Sunglasses - These ought to be lightweight sports glasses but not those designed for cycling with straight arms as these are liable to come flying off during a point. Again, you should remove if no longer required for the conditions.

6. Tennis Balls - Old Balls/New Balls

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You should come prepared with two tubes of balls. One already opened, with your initials or a little mark/logo to identity them as yours drawn on with permanent marker. The other unopened. You should offer to open the new balls for the game but then mention that the other tube was only opened last week so they're probably still fine.

7. Thirsty Work

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The only acceptable drinks are either water or Robinson's squash/cordial. Carbonated drinks should not be consumed during play.

The exception is when offered a Gin & Tonic, a gentleman never refuses a G & T.

8. Changing Ends

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Changes of ends happen after each odd numbered game. Remember this and try not to be surprised. After the first game, you may be asked... "shall we change ends?". The correct answer "yes, I suppose we should". This informs the opponent that we are playing "properly" out of respect for the rules of the game.

9. Ladies Present

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When ladies are present you must refrain from inappropriate language and conduct yourself as a gentleman at all times.

10. Mixed Doubles

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It is often considered unseemly to relentlessly target a lady player even if you believe it to be tactically advantageous.

***Warning:- Many ladies are excellent players and as a blagger you will likely find yourself on the end of a hiding when playing a moderately experienced lady player. This must be accepted with humility and good grace.

11. The Ready Position and playing points

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During points when you are quietly praying the ball does not come in your general direction, you need to make sure you are in the ready position. A good ready position might distract from the unusual shots you might attempt during points.

Ensure you hold the racquet at the bottom of the grip.

When in the ready position, watch the ball carefully and assume every shot the ball might be coming to you. If the ball comes towards you try to make sure you move your feet to get into position for the ball, take your racquet back early & low, pointing towards the back of the court, keep your eye on the ball and play your shots with a long smooth, accelerating swing, contacting the ball away from your body and in front of your front foot, brushing up the back of the ball and finishing high or over your shoulder.

You should try to have relaxed grip on the racquet, with the racquet face (on contact) pointing either flat across the court or (surprisingly) slightly down towards the bottom of the net. The low to high swing will hopefully generate lift and topspin and carry the ball comfortably over the net and into the court. Avoid the urge to play the ball upwards, lifting it up and over the net.

When volleying, do not try to hit the ball... block the ball back. Small controlled movements are far more effective. Less is more. Use a good contact to return the energy already on the ball.

When serving stand sideways to your target, do not grip the ball tightly. Toss the ball high above your head, slightly in-front of you and try to reach and stretch to hit the ball above your head at the highest point you can reach, snap your wrist and follow through down to your opposite hip. You should have a chopper grip, where the top of the grip is neutral between your thumb and forefinger.

Unfortunately it takes more than 5 paragraphs to learn tennis but hopefully the above may help a little.

12. Don't be daunted, have fun.

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Enjoy yourself. Try your best. The most simple way of getting good at tennis is to hit a lot of tennis balls. Everyone has to start somewhere. With practice and a bit of coaching, you will see yourself improving week after week and loving this wonderful sport.

Tennis For Free

Tennis For Free is a UK based charity providing free tennis coaching on public courts across the UK 50 weeks per year. Our sessions are designed for all ages and abilities to take up the wonderful sport. The charity also aims to promote the participation of tennis and make all public courts free to use. Getting more people hitting more balls.

Please visit Tennis for Free to see the great work we do, to search for local coaching in your area or to donate.

We also need the support of experienced players and coaches to volunteer to help support our sessions and set-up new sites. If you would be interested in helping out or setting up a new site, please contact the charity via the website for information.

Thank-you.