1.We will agree with you when you say your book is "groundbreaking," but we really don't mean it.
2.All books begin to sound the same after a while.
3.We'll tell you over and over again that we've read your book, but we haven't.
4.It only takes looking at a few pages of your book to know if it's going to get any media attention.
5.And we've probably talked about how bad your book is.
6.Your press release is most likely a combination of several press releases of the past.
7.Getting a national hit is not easy.
8.That being said, we almost always go to your local media first.
9.If you're rude to us, we will go out of our way to not get coverage for you.
10.No matter how unconventional you claim your book is, nothing surprises us anymore.
11.When you complain to us about not getting your money's worth, it goes in one ear and out the other.
12.We'll tell you our pitches are unique, but 85% of them contain the same jargon as the last one.
13.Paid book reviews will get you absolutely nowhere.
14.Conducting media outreach yourself while we're doing the exact same thing defeats the whole purpose of our job.
15.If your book is going to be about a historical event, it's best to consult an expert on the topic or at least have your facts straight.
16.A ton of behind the scenes planning goes on that you don't see.
17.A lot of what we're doing for you can be done entirely by you.
18.HIRE AN EDITOR.
19.We know what we're doing and don't like being told how to do our job.
20.It can make our day when an author simply says "thank you."
21.And when we get a book we can relate to, it makes our job much more enjoyable.
22.When you have an open mind it makes our jobs SO much easier.
23.Though our job is tough at times, we like helping people raise awareness about their books and it's incredibly satisfying when an author walks away happy.
