88 Things That Went Through My Mind While Watching "Hereditary"
How come they can't do the séance with the lights on?
Warning: Contains some spoilers.
1. Opening your movie with an obituary really sets the tone.
2. Whoa, the first shot that zooms into the model home is trippy and unsettling.
3. This family hurrying to a funeral reminds me of the McAlisters rushing off in Home Alone, only it's dark and sad and they're not going to Paris.
4. FIRST THOROUGHLY CREEPY MOMENT: That dude eerily standing there smiling.
5. Charlie eating chocolate is making me want chocolate.
6. Aw, Charlie has a nut allergy. Her parents are way too chill about being uncertain if the candy she's eating has nuts in it.
7. I'm already dreading people inevitably thinking it's funny to make Charlie's tongue click noise after this movie.
8. Oh, it's the classic kid-drawing-creepy-artwork trope.
9. CREEPY MOMENT NUMBER TWO: Annie just saw the figure of her mother who passed away just standing there in a dark corner.
10. And now Annie's just casually going to sleep, not remotely disturbed by what she just saw.
11. A bird flying into the window? Yep, that's a super bad omen.
12. I love how relentlessly Charlie eats chocolate — she feels relatable.
13. Whoa, Charlie just cut the head off of the bird with some scissors — she feels not relatable.
14. CREEPY MOMENT NUMBER THREE: ANOTHER SINISTER-LOOKING PERSON WATCHING CHARLIE FROM ACROSS THE STREET.
15. Monsters and demons are really scary, but I find something about a regular old human staring and smiling to be deeply disturbing.
16. Peter is invited to a social gathering via a text that said, "Party at so-and-so's, bring your dick."
17. Annie is pretty chill about letting Peter go to this party, I expected that to be more of a struggle.
18. Annie is forcing Charlie to go to the party with Peter, but she definitely does not want to go. She's relatable again.
19. Going to a party where you only know one person, and having that person leave you by yourself is true horror.
20. Wait, who chops up nuts at a high school party?!
21. I get that Peter wanted to go smoke with his friends or whatever, but it seems kind of messed up to ditch your little sister.
22. OH NO, Charlie's eating cake that someone used nuts on. This is all bad.
23. Charlie's allergic reaction is painful to watch.
24. Her inability to breathe is making me unable to breathe.
25. Charlie struggling and Peter driving at an extremely high speed is SO STRESSFUL.
26. OH MY GOD.
27. HOLY SHIT.
28. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. Wow.
29. This is just brutal.
30. So, Peter's just going to casually go to sleep after that?
31. Hearing Annie walk outside, knowing what she's going to stumble upon is so gut-wrenching.
32. This film feels less like horror, more of a profoundly dark drama. I'm 10 times more sad than I am scared.
33. ANN DOWD ALERT! She's always incredible in everything she does.
34. Ann Dowd plays Joan, who seems nice, which is a refreshing change from some of her other characters (e.g. The Leftovers and The Handmaid's Tale).
35. Annie describing her sleepwalking incident with Charlie, Peter, and paint thinner is a big NOPE from me. The concept of sleepwalkers scares me for that exact reason.
36. This family dinner is so intense and awkward.
37. I know Peter's a teenager who is going through a lot, but he's being kind of a dick to his mom.
38. It sucks to watch this family fight because they've been through a lot and you just want to see them get along.
39. Kind of off topic, but where does this movie take place? It's beautiful.
40. Joan is going to show Annie how to do a séance, this should be creepy.
41. How come they can't do the séance with the lights on?
42. THE GLASS MOVED.
43. I know this ghost is just Joan's grandson, but it'd still be extremely frightening.
44. Annie is entirely too calm about there being bugs in her bed.
45. Ants everywhere and you're just going to casually roll out of bed and not wake your husband up to let him know.
46. PETER IS NOW AN ANTHILL.
47. Oh, that was all a nightmare. Phew, I guess?
48. Highly concerned that Annie's sleepwalking is going to get someone killed.
49. Gathering everyone to perform a séance in your own crib? Aw, what lovely family time.
50. Ok, I take back what I said about this being more sad than scary. The scariness has definitely returned.
51. Did Charlie just takeover Annie's body right now?!
52. Y'dun goofed, Annie. Now you're all possessed, and there's glass shattering and whatnot.
53. I am very confused about exactly what happened during that séance, but I know it wasn't great.
54. Cool, I'm going to be too scared to look into a mirror for the next week thanks to Peter's reflection.
55. This family is really losing it and at this point I'm losing it with them.
56. So now Annie is physically tethered to Charlie's creepy sketchbook?
57. WOW, the fact that Joan knew Annie's mom confirms one thing: never trust an Ann Dowd character.
58. Annnd Annie's mom was definitely into some weird, demonic stuff.
59. I'm so lost, but I did catch a glimpse of something in a book about a king of hell who likes to live inside of vulnerable male bodies.
60. Unfortunately for Peter, he fits that criteria.
61. Peter is about to lose his shit in class, isn't he?
62. Yep, it's happening.
63. That clicking sound is so upsetting.
64. Peter's head slamming onto his desk was in the trailer, yet it still made me jump.
65. Why is there a body in their attic?!
66. Can we chill out for a minute, there are too many things happening right now.
67. ANNIE'S GOING TO SACRIFICE HERSELF BY BURNING THE SKETCHBOOK SHE'S TETHERED TO, WHAT A HERO.
68. Or not. Wait, how'd the sketchbook become attached to her husband?
69. Whatever, I guess it doesn't matter if I understand because everything is coming to a head.
70. Imagine smashing your face into your desk, going home to take a nap, and waking up to that horrifying carnage in your living room.
71. Wow, is that Annie chillin' like Spider-Man on the ceiling behind Peter?
72. Yep, that was Annie, so she's definitely possessed.
73. And now possessed Annie is chasing Peter — pure horror.
74. Peter saying things like, "Please stop, mommy" as if calling Annie "mommy" will overpower the demon and bring her back.
75. Yo, why are all of these people naked?
76. If y'all want to worship Satan or whatever then go for it, but where are y'alls pants at?
77. The sight of Annie hovering in that corner, decapitating herself will haunt me forever.
78. OH MY. WOW. DEAR GOD.
79. Can't blame Peter for Scrooge McDuck diving out of that window.
80. So the demon spirit just took over Peter's body? That's it? Are the bad guys going to win this one?
81. The main character's headless corpse just floated up to the treehouse — this is a super chill ending.
82. There are creepy naked cult people and beheaded bodies everywhere.
83. This shit has completely gone off the rails and I'm ready for the end credits.
84. So, Peter is the King of Hell now?
85. Or is Charlie the King of Hell in Peter's body?
86. You'd think the King of Hell would get something fancier than a flimsy-looking Burger King crown.
87. And it's over — can't say that I'm upset about it. I am confused and scared and sad and uncomfortable.
88. I feel like I need to wash my soul after watching this. Maybe like a holy water bath bomb situation. Anyway, I'm going to try to appreciate the incredible cinematography while forgetting all of the traumatic things I've just witnessed.