Jenny Chang / Buzzfeed We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a small share of sales from the links on this page. 1. This wall-mounted light with special-effect decals. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF thinkgeek.com Supercharge your night vision.Get it from ThinkGeek for $30. 2. These athletic shoes that have been engineered to make you jump higher. athleticpropulsionlabs.com, athleticpropulsionlabs.com According to the company, these shoes allow you to jump 3.5 inches higher. Damn. The NBA's even banned them.Check out their selection of shoes here. 3. This shirt that answers a lot of questions you might get. Clever Fox Apparel Tell them you won't cape-r to their demands.Get it from Clever Fox Apparel on Etsy for $17. 4. These webbed gloves that'll give you an extra edge in the pool. amzn.to Be faster than Michael Phelps.Get them from Amazon for $26. 5. This anti-theft backpack with invisible pockets that'll protect your top-secret info. kickstarter.com It's not just a phase when you're phasing.Check it out on Kickstarter. 6. These super-trained ninja pencils that no one will dare to steal. amzn.to Perfect for when you need to send a message that'll cut through. Get them from Amazon for $8. 7. This dartboard that symbolizes what you were created to destroy. zazzle.com One day you will crush the root of all evil.Get it from Zazzle for $64. 8. This reflective hoodie that make you indistinguishable in any photo taken with flash. betabrand.com To protect your alter ego.Get it from Beta Brand for $228. 9. This titanium ring with a hidden set of tools. etsy.com Open bottles, cut packaging, and whittle wood covertly. It'll be your secret power.Get it from Booner Rings on Etsy for $295. 10. This journal of top-secret plans that only you and other heroes know about. etsy.com Sneaky schemes to take down stinky regimes.Get it from Naked Tile on Etsy for $6. 11. These neon purple sunglasses that are only fit for Cyclops. amzn.to Because you're literally always beaming.Get it from Amazon for $10. 12. This full-body Lycra suit that you can use as a disguise whenever your superhero identity is at risk. amzn.to Or if you fuck up, you can make a quick getaway.Get it from Amazon for $23. 13. This blazer that's honestly the hottest-looking cape ever to exist. amzn.to A cape blazer, with POCKETS.Get it from Amazon for $40. 14. This Superman ring that doubles as a bottle opener. fancy.com Grab a drink before you take off.Get it from Fancy for $28. 15. These levitating coasters that'll convince your guests you have the power to defy gravity. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF kickstarter.com But you'll also lift their spirits.Check it out on Kickstarter. 16. And to go along with those telekinetic powers, here's this levitating bed. urbansuite.co.uk Since you sleep with an ~elevated~ state of mind. And if you want to exaggerate your powers, you can decorate with a levitating speaker, a floating lamp, and a hovering bonsai tree. Check it out on UrbanSuite. 17. These cut-resistant sleeves that'll also protect you from the heat. amzn.to Make your arms invulnerable to physical harm.Get them from Amazon for $21. 18. This survival guide that'll make you indestructible. amzn.to (Theoretically).Get it from Amazon for $12. 19. This superhero lamp that's also an optical illusion. fancy.com You could also be contacting super-important friends (who are also heroes, NBD).Get it from Fancy for $90. 20. This smartwatch that looks like a mirror, but has GPS, has an emergency siren, and can send messages. amzn.to Always alert.Get it from Amazon for $40. 21. This rechargeable lighter that's truly windproof. amzn.to Start fires, anywhere!Get it from Amazon for $23. 22. This decoder ring that lets you send messages in private. amzn.to By spinning the upper half, you can encrypt a message with numbers. In this ring, "A" starts at the number three.Get it from Amazon for $18. 23. These clip-on magnifying lenses that'll help you zoom in on tiny details for a short amount of time. amzn.to People will be amazed by how well you can focus.Get them from Amazon for $9.Note: If you're ~human~, you should not wear these all the time. Your poor muggle eyes will hurt. 24. This wheel that's intended to improve flexibility and balance. amzn.to If this splits you up from your normal friends, at least this thing's down to roll with you. Get it from Amazon for $29. 25. This smart hearing amplifier that'll let you hear more clearly in noisy environments. amzn.to Be all about that supersonic biz.Get it from Amazon for $409. 26. This item-finding tracker and app that'll make it look like you have superhuman memory. amzn.to Especially if you used to misplace everything.Get it from Amazon for $70. 27. This wine bag that still describes the greatest superpower one could ever possess. amzn.to After a whole day of saving the world, you got to unwine.Get it from Amazon for $6.