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24 Downright Bizarre Things People Have Done On The NYC Subway

"New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down..."

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1. Used a stranger as a curtain for a wardrobe change.

NBC / Via giphy.com

"I was coming home from my friends place in Brooklyn late one night so there were only two other people in the subway car. This normal looking man in a suit came on and sat as close to me as physically possible and then told me to stand up and block him so he could change his outfit. I was so confused/scared but I went with it. When it was my stop he gave me a flashlight key chain and told me to be safe out in the world!"

—Submitted by Morgan Hauck, Facebook

2. Left a pile of shit and a sorry note.

Paramount Pictures / Via reddit.com

"One time, my boyfriend found literally a pile of shit on the seat. That wasn't the worst part. There was a sorry note right next to it."

—Submitted by Val Heartday, Facebook

3. Gave out business cards as the "The Green Lady."

Lady Gaga / Via pagneforthepain.tumblr.com

"One time I saw this lady dressed entirely in green. She had green overalls, and green lipstick, and green hair and a green backpack. I sat next to her and she gave me a business card that read 'The Green Lady' with her email address and picture of her on it. I still have the card somewhere."

—Submitted by Violet August, Facebook

5. Paid someone to watch their kid on the train.

Universal Pictures / Via gif-weenus.com

"One time on the train a woman asked me to help her watch her baby. I got paid 15 dollars that train ride."

—Submitted by Micaela Lilley, Facebook

6. Went ham on a rotisserie chicken.

Warner Bros / Via gubulldogblog.wordpress.com

"I was going home one night and a homeless guy was taking up an entire row, sprawled out on his side like a Playboy centerfold, eating a rotisserie chicken. I stood in front of the doors a diagonally from him, and when we started moving, he proceeded to throw chicken bones at my feet. I was tired & cranky, and said "What the hell are you doing?!" His response? '…I like chicken.'"

Can't argue that logic."

—Submitted by susanrebeccah

7. Decided not to rob a car because nobody in there gave a fuck.

Paramount Pictures

"Couple guys get on the train out to Queens and loudly announce to the crowded car that they're armed and planning to rob everyone. Absolutely no one looked up or acknowledged them, so they quietly got off at the next stop."

—Submitted by aingridmeyers

8. Showed everybody their baby rat.

ABC News / Via youtube.com

"I was once sitting across from a girl who was holding a baby rat in her hands. She kept mischievously surprising random people with it and then cackling hysterically."

—Submitted by carolynkylstra

9. Held a sign for $1 hugs.

Cartoon Network / Via giphy.com

"I was on a train heading to Chinatown when a huge, intimidating man ( I swear he was built like a football player) walked in through the door that separated the cars. I could see that he was carrying a sign and I was getting slightly worried, but the wind from the open door was blowing it so it folded. When the wind finally stopped I stopped worrying immediately because it only said 'Hugs $1.'"

—Submitted by sarahh43c616308

10. Shot-gunned a Four Loko while playing the keys.

Frederick Douglas / CC BY-NC-ND http://2.0 / Via Flickr: thelastsuppernyc

"One time I got on a train at Grand Central and a man was taking up an entire section of seats with his electric keyboard, which he played with one hand while shot gunning a four loko with the other."

—Submitted by sarahh43c616308

11. Jacked off...

Warner Bros / Via filmtvgifs.tumblr.com

"I had just moved from Chicago and had been in the city about a week. On my first day riding the MTA into my new job, a dude who was about 4.5 feet tall wearing a zip-up hoody like a cape with the draw strings tied tight around his face got on the R train behind me, sat a few rows away facing me. He then proceeded to pull his pants down to his knees, took his dick out and began furiously masturbating AT me. Not just masturbating while looking at me, masturbating towards me as if he was trying to finish in my direction. After pretending I didn't see him until the next stop, I quickly switched cars. Welcome to New York!"

—Submitted by elisewhoa

12. Chain-smoked while singing the national anthem.

Lana Del Rey / Via youtube.com

"I stepped into the A-train in queens and it immediately smelled like cigarettes. When I sat down and looked to my right, there was…

An overweight white woman with a shopping cart COVERED in American flags. An American flag jacket and hat, and waving an American flag. She was surrounded by half smoked cigarettes on the floor. She was holding a lit cigarette waving her flag and singing the national anthem. FROM QUEENS TO PENN STATION! She chain smoked and sang hilariously!"

—Submitted by josettes3

13. Played rounds of Yahtzee, Connect 4 AND used a typewriter.

PBS / Via reddit.com

"I figure most of these stories will be unsavory experiences, so let me share a joyful one. I was getting on the 1 train from Harlem headed downtown. When I stepped onto the car, the sound of rolling dice and a clicking typewriter greeted me. Sprawled out across the train were about 15 20-somethings, all playing different board games. There was a couple playing Boggle, others playing Yahtzee, Connect 4, and many other properly nostalgic games. There was even a guy writing on a vintage typewriter with the group.

The best part is, they invited every single person who got on the train to join a game. The typist offered to write poetry about the passengers. They had all just decided to throw a spontaneous game party on the 1 train. It's one of the most unusual subway memories I have."

—Submitted by smack0

14. Let loose a live chicken.

youtube.com

"A few years ago I was on a relatively empty train, when two young men walked on. They sat down across from me and one placed his backpack on the floor between his legs. I didn't pay much attention until the backpack started moving. All of a sudden one of the guys unzips his bag and he pulls out a chicken! He lets the chicken run around a little bit and no one else in the car seemed to be in shock. A minute passes by and then the chicken is placed back in the backpack and the two men get off the train. Still to this day I have no clue what that was all about."

—Submitted by svaccarino

15. Gave people advice on Jesus and cilantro, in that order.

Fox // Christina Lan / Buzzfeed / Via giphy.com

"One morning a bum on the R spent a good 30 minutes screaming at the top of his lungs to a train full of people. First 20 minutes of it was about Jesus, the last 10 was a really great guacamole recipe and a few tips on how/when to use cilantro."

—Submitted by Jaimetd

16. Preached the word of the good lord(s).

Fox / Via giphy.com

"Waiting for the train, this guy started praising everybody: 'PRAISE JESUS! PRAISE ALLAH! PRAISE BUDDHA! PRAISE MOHAMED!' At least he was covering all his bases."

—Submitted by katiem4493674a4

17. Requested for more seat room for their ferret.

Lindley Ashline / CC BY-NC http://2.0 / Via Flickr: angelslens

"Another time the train was packed and the guy squished a little too close next to me kept looking down at his pocket and mumbling. Finally he pulled out a ferret which was basically touching me and he just looked at me and said 'Can you move over, she doesn't do well in tight spaces.'"

—Submitted by emj

18. Told someone that using their phone was insulting Hillary Clinton.

Comedy Central / Via youtube.com

"Some one screaming at me in the the middle of the day to put my phone away because I was 'pissing off Hillary Clinton.'"

—Submitted by Kristinazagga

19. Impersonated Justin Bieber.

Fox / Via perezhilton.tumblr.com

"On Valentine's Day an older man with a bass guitar sang Forever Mine to me. He kept referring to me as "white lady" like just adding it in the song WHEREVER he could fit it.

"I got what you want, you got what I want,

and white lady, we were made for each other"

He sang the entire song to me, on a packed subway, while plenty of people (my husband included) recorded it. He finished the song, introduced himself as justin bieber and passed his hat around for money.
Honestly, it made me day!
"

—Submitted by Greenemma21

20. Serenaded a family the entire train ride.

Chris Goldberg / Via Flickr: chrisgold

"We were going to see my sister graduate, and a full-fledged mariachi band marched up and down the car, serenading us."

—Submitted by paulb71

21. Warned others that becoming a mermaid or a werewolf was actually an act of Satan.

Disney / Via gifs-for-the-masses.tumblr.com

"This lady came on the train and started screaming about how you shouldn't look up how to become a mermaid or a werewolf on youtube because it is an act of satan."

—Submitted by leahi44bc5cb67

22. Wore all gold and sang an overly zealous rendition of "Shots."

LMFAO / Via youtube.com

"Last week, as I was reading my book, I see a girl that starts dancing in the middle of the subway with her GOLD headphones on, GOLD nike shoes and a GOLD purse. She starts jumping up and down as she yells 'shots, shots shots ...' ("Shots" by LMFAO) and as I got to my stop she got to the part of "The ladies love us, When we pour shots, They need an excuse, To suck our c***s."

Needless to say, the last part was just the cherry on top. The group of people exiting the subway, with me, just burst out laughing!"

—Submitted by Sonia Matos, Facebook

23. Talked about being an alien from outer space.

Cult Video / Via rhetthammersmithhorror.tumblr.com

"I was riding the subway after shoving my way through Times Square, ready to just take a load off, when a street performer began to introduce himself. Not that weird, right? Well...this street performer was a guy named Billy, and his performance consisted of him telling the entire car via Janet Jackson microphone that he was an alien from outer space. He went on and started chants about being an alien, mostly cheerleader-like chants with a lot of clap and yelling. At first everyone was annoyed, but by the end, the entire car was CRACKING up, he was such a character. I found his Facebook fan page shortly after and there were pages and pages of comments about how he made people laugh. It was weird, but it brightened my day!"

—Submitted by Nina Steffel, Facebook

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Thumbnail image courtesy of Seth Werkheiser / CC BY-SA 2.0

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