Skip To Content
    This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    The 22 Craziest, Funniest, Weirdest Things Overheard On The Streets Of NYC

    Without the womb of a car, you hear so many things on the streets. Here are a few verbatim snippets from the streets of the Big Apple.

    1. "No, I don't want any toenails but my own!"

    2. "You're always running. Run for the train... run for the bus. That's what this city is about. Did you enjoy anything? No, I was running."

    3. "I'm not doing harm to nobody. I AM civilized. What is the problem?!"

    4. "I got some red boots. I got some red girls shoes. But I want some red sneakers. You gotta have those red sneakers!"

    5. "So I'm just going to go gluten free because it's easier."

    6. "Oh, no no. He fell in love with him before he knew he was Beyonce's assistant."

    7. "Who's your nanny? Mine's Miss Linda."

    8. "I'm pretty sure he was a pedophile."

    9. "That's not how it works. People tell people when they get engaged!"

    10. "He's such an intense asshole."

    11. "Whatchu getting into tonight? Want to go to TGI Friday's?"

    12. "He got the kind of money to make a broke bitch scream."

    13. "Everything is skinny. Skinny jeans, skinny ties. But I'm not skinny anymore. New Yorkers just have this weird thing about not letting go of who they were in their twenties. I'm not saying you have to dress like a geezer, but fucking come on."

    14. "You have great tits. Will you be my surrogate?"

    15. "He come all the way from Queens and don't even want to sell drugs."

    16. "Vegans just have better health. They have better sex. So she's a vegan for life."

    17. "I need chocolate therapy."

    18. “We actually adopted you so you're technically my stepbrother.”

    19. "You see how big I am? Don't mess with me. I'll clock you right here."

    20. "If I had to have a girlfriend, it'd be you."

    21. "You know I'm kicking his ass right when we get upstairs."

    22. "Ugh, I had to go to the slums in India."