And we've all thought, "Omg Stanley Tucci is such a hot fucking dad in this movie omgomgomg give birth to me..."
...SO THEN WHY HAVEN'T WE PUBLICLY TALKED ABOUT IT?
Luckily, you have a thirsty BuzzFeed writer with a thing or two for hairy, bald, older men ready to change this public discourse with a binder full of screenshots.
TBH, I blame this #HornyForTucci phenomenon on the first scene in the movie where he's wearing a tight gray shirt (GRAY SHIRTS ARE THE HOTTEST KIND OF SHIRTS ON MEN) with his chest hair just SLIGHTLY teasing the camera.
Like right from the get-go, WE'RE BLINDED BY HIS CHEST HAIR AND MUSCLES WITH THE HELP OF HIS TIGHT GRAY SHIRT.
And it's only a sopping downhill journey from there.
As if the muscles + scruff + chest hair + tight gray shirt combo wasn't dehydrating enough, we find out he's also a FUNNY DAD.
OK.... *deep breaths* ....
...then there's this scene where he's wearing another tight gray shirt:
AND THEN THERE'S THIS MOMENT WHERE HE STANDS UP THAT I GIF'D FOR US. JUST WATCH THIS. SLOWLY.
AND THEN (!!!!!!!!!!!!) THERE'S THIS LINE HE DELIVERS IN ANOTHER TIGHT GRAY SHIRT:
I AM DONE. DIED OF DEHYDRATION.
WAIT!!!! I'M BACK IN GRAPE FORM TO LEAVE ANOTHER SCREENSHOT FROM HIS 2008 CANCELLED SHOW 3 LBS:
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