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Wait... Is Selena Gomez In Love With Her Female Gym Teacher Who’s Low-Key Fucking Her Dad In The "Bad Liar" Video???

Let a gay break it down!

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Selena Gomez finally released the music video for her summer bop "Bad Liar" (if you don't think it's a bop, please close this tab, s'il vous plaît), and BOYOHBOY, is there a lot to unpack/digest in this ’70s-themed Jerry Springer-esque plot:

View this video on YouTube

First of all, this is one of those music videos where the singer plays every main character. So let's do a quick roll call of the characters Selena plays:


Then we find Selena in science class — there's something heavy on her mind! She looks outside her classroom window to find a woman in a car (aka Selena in Farrah Fawcett wig), throwing her a quick wave and smile. Who is she? Why does she have Selena's face? Did everyone in the ’70s have Selena Gomez's face?


OK, so from here the plot starts to get MESSY. Student-Selena stumbles upon man-Selena being super flirty with Selarrah Fawcettna in the school stairwell. At this point, I'm assuming they both work at the school. But why does Selena have a vested interest in these two's interactions? Why is she sleuthing?! Is she trying to solve a crime? Is she an aspiring member of the Scooby-Doo gang?


So now Selena is in gym class playing basketball. And here's when we start to figure some things out! Based on her ~distracted~ gaze, Selena is either crushing on Selarrah Fawcettna or she just really loves her hair. Also, this must make her Selena's gym teacher!!! WOWOOWOWOWWOW.

They head home and begin to eat dinner when student Selena walks in... drama! This is TOTALLY Selen'a fam, WHICH MEANS her dad (man-Selena) must be cheating on his wife (woman-Selena) with Selena's gym teacher (Selarrah Fawcettna). THIS IS SOME JERRY SPRINGER SHIT!!!!


And you know what? I think all of her peers were staring at her in the hallway like she had some leftover McNuggets in her teeth because they totally knew her dad (who might be the principal of her school?) is fucking the gym teacher! SCANDAL!

Selena runs off to her room (because her dad is cheating on her mom with her gym teacher) and now we get a peek into student Selena's personal life. She has posters of strong women all over her wall (NO MEN!), including some knock-off Charlie's Angels...