1.
*Pretends to be focused on phone*
*Successfully avoids eye contact with last weekend's hookup*
2.
*Texts friend you're on your way*
*Hasn't even started to get ready*
*Hides another friend who just got engaged*
4.
*Secretly uses the front camera to check yourself out*
*Remembers how flawless your look is today*
5.
*Checks your bank account and remembers it's payday*
6.
*Gets text from last night's date*
*Ghosts that needy bitch*
7.
*Checks the thirst trap you just dropped on Insta*
*Already five likes and two comments*
8.
*Gets a Facebook message from the ex*
9.
*Texts co-workers you can't make happy hour tonight*
*Off to Netflix and chill*
10.
*Gets text from your roommate asking if you can pick up toilet paper on your way home*
*Phone conveniently dies*
11.
*Mom asks how you're doing*
*Tries not to breakdown in the middle of the street*
12.
*Pretends to check work email*
13.
*Acts focused on your phone as a total bae walks towards you*
*Looks up just in time to make solid eye contact*
14.
*Tries to listen to a friend talk about their boy drama*
*Has no recollection of anything they just said*
15.
*Mercilessly stalks your ex's new bae*
*Finds their worst picture and convinces yourself they're a downgrade*
16.
*Parents text you asking if you've bought your ticket home for Christmas yet*
*Remembers all the crippling debt you have from student loans and credit card bills*
17.
*Reads another humble brag Facebook status*
*Imagines yourself throwing your phone at that person's face*
