Here's what we used to make the cake part: (Don't be scared. It's worth it!)
And here's what we used to make the iconic creamy filling:
Step 1: We cut 12 squares of aluminum foil and folded them around a spice container to make little molds for the cakes, and we sprayed them with a crap load of cooking spray.
Step 2: We melted butter and milk together in a saucepan. Then, we took it off the heat and added vanilla, covered it, and put it aside.
Step 3: We beat the egg whites and slowly added half the sugar and all the cream of tartar until it formed soft peaks.
Step 4: You still with us? GOOD. Next, we beat the egg yolks with other half of the sugar until it was thick and looked pastel yellow.
Step 5: We added the egg whites back in with the egg yolks. After that, we added a mixture of the dry ingredients (cake flower, all purpose flour, baking powder, and salt). THEN: We mixed it all together on low for 10 seconds.
Step 6: We poured the batter into the little aluminum cake coffins and stuck them in the oven at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes.
SOOOOOO, it was at this point that we realized we accidentally replaced the flour with powdered sugar (they are the same color, OK?), and we ended up with a bunch of crispy sugar puddles. Don't do this.
After we redid the recipe correctly (and cried a lot), we poured the batter into the molds, stuck it in (and took it out) of the oven, we then moved onto the ~FILLING STAGE~.
Step 9: We then threw all the filling ingredients together and beat them until smooth. After, we took a chopstick and poked little holes into the bottom of each cake. Then, we put the filling into a pastry bag and filled the little cakes with frosting.
All in all, the recipe took about 2 hours. But damn, after trying our homemade masterpieces, the store-bought Twinkies kinda tasted like pennies.
The ratio of cream to cake is a little less with the homemade ones, so it doesn't utterly destroy your stomach.
Overall, it was totally, absolutely worth doing the whole goddamn recipe twice.
And here's the entire recipe if you want to go on your own magical Twinkie adventure. HAVE FUN, YA TWINKIES.