2. This $898 shag puff dressing chair:
Kristin: This is a Pokémon only available to rich people.
Chrissy: Damn, just adopt a dog. It's cheaper.
Kristin: Who needs a dog when you've got a furry chair and an ancient curse!
3. This unsettling $179 (originally priced $268) archipelago duck tureen:
Chrissy: This is what passive-aggressive vegans give people as wedding presents.
Kristin: This duck is weirdly OK with being so low on the food chain, like, "Hi, here's the human fork and knife you'll need to eat me later! Oh, don't worry about me, I'm just a duck with a butt full of soup!"
6. This $78 tassel fringe cuff:
Kristin: Why does her wrist need a mustache? Is it starting a barbershop quartet?
Chrissy: Is this fur real?
7. This $168 vestige bathtub caddy:
Kristin: Recycling is great, but this is literally a piece of wood.
Chrissy: I didn't realize old planks of wood were also "bathtub caddies." Next, they'll being selling leaves and calling them "reclaimed loofahs."
Kristin: And when you accidentally hit this with your knee and knock your phone into the tub, you can sell said phone as a "reclaimed paperweight."
8. These $1,249 (originally priced $1,942) squirrel and woodpecker hand-carved woodlore sconces and lamp:
14. This $149 (originally priced $348) kept postcards wallpaper:
Kristin: So is the theme of this room is "Women Who Would Be Really Pissed to Learn That You Aren't Giving Your Kid the Smallpox Vaccine"?
Chrissy: Nothing like a floor-to-ceiling collage of dead strangers to really warm up the place.