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    43 Reasons To Avoid Newcastle

    It's just too ugly.

    1. There are too many butt-ugly bridges.

    2. See?

    3. Bloody everywhere.

    4. We've got the same problem with old buildings.

    5. You can't move for them.

    6. There's so much wasted space in the city.

    7. And what space we have we fill full of ugly churches.

    8. We forget the past.

    9. And aren't building for the future.

    10. We're so insular and inward-looking.

    11. We hate multiculturalism.

    12. Hate it.

    13. We're always fighting, and never at peace.

    14. We're unwelcoming -- we're famous for it.

    15. We don't care about others.

    16. As for culture...well, who needs it?

    17. We're uneducated. Shakespeare? Who needs him?

    18. We've got no art.

    19. None whatsoever.

    20. And our food is so dull.

    21. Our tastebuds are never challenged.

    22. We have nothing interesting or tasty.

    23. Just boring food on boring plates.

    24. Even our street names are boring.

    25. We lack passion.

    26. And we're so anti-social.

    27. We're too straight-laced.

    28. And we have no fun.

    29. It's always cold.

    30. So, so cold.

    31. And the city is so built-up you can't escape to see any nature.

    32. There's nowhere to sit down.

    33. Nowhere quiet and tranquil.

    34. It's a concrete jungle.

    35. And there's no way out.

    36. There are no fun events.

    37. We're too proud of our drinking culture.

    38. And not proud enough of our coffee culture.

    39. So Newcastle, eh?

    40. Nothing happens.

    41. Nobody comes.

    42. Nobody goes.

    43. It's awful. Please, please never go.