There are too many butt-ugly bridges.
We've got the same problem with old buildings.
You can't move for them.
There's so much wasted space in the city.
And what space we have we fill full of ugly churches.
And aren't building for the future.
We're so insular and inward-looking.
We hate multiculturalism.
We're always fighting, and never at peace.
We're unwelcoming -- we're famous for it.
We don't care about others.
As for culture...well, who needs it?
We're uneducated. Shakespeare? Who needs him?
And our food is so dull.
Our tastebuds are never challenged.
We have nothing interesting or tasty.
Just boring food on boring plates.
Even our street names are boring.
And we're so anti-social.
We're too straight-laced.
And the city is so built-up you can't escape to see any nature.
There's nowhere to sit down.
Nowhere quiet and tranquil.
It's a concrete jungle.
And there's no way out.
There are no fun events.
We're too proud of our drinking culture.
And not proud enough of our coffee culture.
It's awful. Please, please never go.