35 Things Australians Are Doing Completely And Utterly Wrong

    Sit down, Australia. We need to talk.

    Chris Rodley
    by Chris Rodley

    BuzzFeed Contributor

    1. Keeping Vegemite in the fridge.

    BuzzFeed

    Why it's wrong: Because cold Vegemite doesn’t spread properly.

    2. Wearing socks with thongs.

    BuzzFeed

    Why it's wrong: It's lazy AF. Either take your socks off or put shoes on.

    3. Eating dry Weet-Bix.

    Via sanitarium.com.au

    Why it's wrong: Because it's a Weet-Bix, not a Sao.

    4. Giving Celebrations as a gift rather than Favourites.

    woolworths.com.au

    Why it's wrong: All you're giving is the sad realisation of what might have been.

    5. Playing "Don't Call Me Baby" at house parties.

    EMI International / Via cdandlp.com

    Why it's wrong: Oh please. The same goes for "Murder on the Dance Floor".

    6. Buying fruit-free hot cross buns at Easter.

    Via Instagram: @reevac

    Why it's wrong: Without the fruit it's just a bloody bread roll.

    7. Falling off this chair.

    Via bunnings.com.au / nichaelforyou.tumblr.com

    Why it's wrong: It's an $8 Bunnings chair. What did you expect?

    8. Ordering food on Jetstar.

    Via jetstar.com

    Why it's wrong: You'll be at Tullamarine in an hour. You can survive without a frickin' Sumo Salad.

    9. Voting for shit TV at the Logies.

    Via Seven Network

    Why it's wrong: Because Home and Away has won 45 Logies and Cheez TV never got a goddamn one.

    10. Making fun of New Zealanders by saying "fush and chups".

    11. Putting tinned beetroot in salad sangers.

    12. Keeping your Esky in the sun.

    Via instagram.com

    Why it's wrong: By late afternoon your beer will be warm. (The other rookie's mistake is tipping out the water when the ice melts.)

    13. Being a timewaster on Gumtree.

    BuzzFeed

    Why it's wrong: Not showing up to collect something is a dick move. Also, stop making dumb enquiries and asking for free shit.

    14. Drinking Pasito rather than Passiona.

    15. Eating Samboy chips rather than Smiths.

    16. Eating Crunchies rather than Violet Crumbles.

    EvanAmos / Via en.wikipedia.org

    Why it's wrong: Violet Crumbles are objectively better.

    17. Skimping on sunscreen.

    Peter Dutton / Via Flickr: joeshlabotnik / creativecommons.org

    Why it's wrong: The Cancer Council says most of us don't use enough sunscreen to get adequate protection. You need to put on "at least a teaspoon for each limb, front and back of the body and half a teaspoon for the face, neck and ears".

    18. Sharing fake Qantas giveaways on Facebook.

    Adrian Pingstone / Via commons.wikimedia.org

    Why it's wrong: If it looks too good to be true, it usually is.

    19. Correcting people who say "youse".

    Travis Hornung (cropped) / creativecommons.org / Via Flickr: awfulshot

    Why it's wrong: "Youse" is a great Australian word that fills a need for a second-person plural in English.

    20. Playing Goon of Fortune with only one goon bag.

    matt_777 / Via reddit.com

    Why it's wrong: The standard rules for Goon of Fortune require four goon bags hung on each corner of the Hills Hoist, three cold and one warm.

    21. Dacking your mates so hard you pull down their undies too.

    22. Putting shitloads of tomato sauce on your chips.

    instagram.com

    Why it's wrong: It's incredibly rude to whoever is sharing your chips. Sauce on the side plz.

    23. Throwing out your old jaffle maker to buy a sandwich press.

    harveynorman.com.au

    Why it's wrong: Because a tinned spaghetti jaffle beats a fancy-arse panini any day of the week.

    24. Asking for BBQ sauce at the kebab shop.

    George J. / Via yelp.com.au

    Why it's wrong: The only legitimate sauces are garlic, chilli, or garlic and chilli.

    25. Making any of the craft projects from Better Homes and Gardens.

    Via Seven Network

    Why it's wrong: WTF are you doing with your life.

    26. Hating on instant coffee.

    Instagram: @pipaando

    Why it's wrong: Don't be that guy.

    27. Calling Uluru "Ayers Rock".

    Thomas Schoch / Via en.wiktionary.org / CC BY-SA 3.0

    Why it's wrong: Because it's 2016.

    28. Not using your indicator.

    Why it's wrong: Because someone in a ute will inevitably shout out, "Nice blinker, fuckwit!".

    29. Driving either a Holden Barina or a Mazda 121.

    Via en.wikipedia.org

    Why it's wrong: Because the 90s is over.

    30. Texting in the car.

    Steven Damron (cropped) / creativecommons.org / Via Flickr: sadsnaps

    Why it's wrong: Because your emoji addiction could literally kill somebody. 🙅

    31. Putting the wrong sprinkles on fairy bread.

    Gemsling / Via en.wikipedia.org / Dani Lurie (cropped) / Flickr: slushpup

    Why it's wrong: This one's officially un-Australian.

    32. Making bongs that look like this.

    Via reddit.com

    Why it's wrong: Because you're not in Year 9 any more.

    33. Xenophobia.

    rellumnoceros / Via reddit.com

    Why it's wrong: Because we can do better ay.

    34. Mowing the lawn on Saturday morning.

    35. Not mixing Milo properly.

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