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Everyone Has A Stefon Club They're Destined To Go To — Here's Yours

Answer These Random Questions And Stefon Will Give You A Hot New York Club To Go To

WHICH TOURIST SPOT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED TO VISIT?

AND WHICH FOOD ARE YOU MOST EXCITED TO TRY?

WHAT KIND OF TRANSPORTATION ARE YOU MOST LIKELY TO USE?

FINALLY, WHAT KIND OF BAR WILL YOU HIT UP?

"Located on the Lower Upper Side, this random home invasion is the creation of legally drunk clothing designer Nick Nolte and Gabana. As you walk in, you'll be handed a glass of champagne — or is it piss?  
This place has everything: Slurpies, mushmouths, litterbugs."

Jelly Bones

"Opened in 2017 on the Upper East Side of a dumpster, this 24-hour bitchfest is the creation of club owner/rabbi Jew Diamond Phillips.  
This place has everything: Sand worms, geishas, rock-eaters, a seven level course in adult education. And if you want to relax, you can kick back in your very own subway sleeping bag."

SPICY

"Opened in 1709 by black Irish comedian Sinbad O’Connor, this lunatic landmark earned the Health Department’s first-ever 'J' rating.  
This place has everything: Freckles, potato people, a room full of Heprechauns."

Wee Little Baby

"Illegally parked behind the Statue of Liberty, this hate-speech haven is a creation of frat boy guru D-Bag Chopra.  
This place has everything: Zip drives, gozers, Ke$ha. Guess who may drop by! Is it Ryan Seacrest? No — it's a drowned albino who looks like Axl Rose."

Scampi

"Don’t be fooled by the charred Red Lobster sign out front; this club is a burned-down Red Lobster.  
This place has everything: A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, a sensible dinner, those shoes that nurses wear — and you can dance the night away to the sounds of Donald Duck having a Vietnam nightmare."

Your Mother and I Are Separating

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Everyone Has A Stefon Club They're Destined To Go To — Here's Yours

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