After rocking your pixie for a while, you might decide you kind of miss the ponytail option.
No problem, you'll just grow it out.
You research other people's attempts online and hope you'll be one of those people whose hair just naturally grows gracefully.
But you already know you're not.
At first it's not so bad.
And then it gets to that point about halfway down your ear.
Not a pixie, not yet a bob.
In other words, a bowl cut.
And it's the worst.
This phase lasts forever, and pretty much your only option is to overcompensate with a decorative headband.
But headbands cause the worst headaches.
You try hats.
You almost convince yourself that wearing a wig won't make you look crazy.
You think you'll just have to cut it and live with a pixie forever.
Then one day, you wake up, and...
YOU'VE REACHED THE BOB!
And it feels AMAZING!
This phase lasts about a week, and then you're stuck with some unnamed haircut somewhere between the bob and hitting your shoulders.
You stock up on all of the bobby pins.
LOSE all of the bobby pins, and basically end up tithing half of your paycheck to bobby pin manufacturers.
Your fringe just WILL NOT match up to the rest of your hair's length.
And you'll refuse to cut it shorter to match up, because that is admitting defeat.
You'll feel like your awkward hair affects the way your whole face looks.
But nothing will make it grow faster.
You'll wait.
And you'll hate it.
You'll get physically angry at all those celebrities who made growing out a pixie look so easy.
And you'll struggle every morning, mouth full of bobby pins, trying to figure out what on earth to do it about it.
You'll start saving up for extensions, but then you'll want a beer.
You might feel like all anyone else thinks about is how crap your hair looks.
But at some point, that mess is going to reach your shoulders.
And the time that bob felt amazing is nothing compared to now.
You'll swoop that delicious mane into a messy bun like it's your job.
And see how long you can go before you chop it off again.
