103 Thoughts Everyone Has Had While Shopping At H&M
Is this a 6 or a 10?
1. Oh, H&M's got a sale!
2. Doesn't H&M always have a sale?
3. Might as well just pop in, have a look.
4. I need a new dress anyway, right?
5. What happened here?
6. I just stepped on like seven blouses.
7. Definitely not thinking about how many times the H&M blouses I own were stepped on.
8. I don't know why but the "professional" section makes me so sad.
9. Is this a blazer? I don't even know.
10. Is this jacket made out of hamster hair?
11. £50, WTF?
12. OH, JUMPERS!
13. Only fifteen quid!
14. Oh, it feels so comfy.
15. It comes in two colours, should probably get both.
16. Bikinis are on sale, the time is now.
17. My body is not ready.
18. Here's a nice dress, I'll try that too.
19. And maybe this other one.
20. What size are these trousers?!
21. They say 10 on the outside and 6 on the inside.
22. AM I A TEN OR A SIX?
23. This skirt + that one top I have = yesssssss.
24. Actually it would match this new top even better.
25. DEFINITELY need this ironic and obscure university jumper.
26. Is there a PUG IN SUNGLASSES on that vest?
27. How do I have twelve items already?
28. Goodbye leather shorts and cat tops.
29. I am obsessed with this mannequin display.
30. I must have the whole thing.
31. I can pull that off, right?
32. Where the f*%# are the fitting rooms?
33. This queue cannot be real.
34. FFS this queue is real.
35. Counting items for the fitting room is the most archaic rule.
36. How does a six item limit keep me from shoving something in my bag?
37. Is this a fitting room or a bomb shelter?
38. I'm just going to try the bikini first so I can forget about it faster.
39. HOW COME I DO NOT LOOK LIKE BEYONCE IN THIS?
40. The whole world is a lie.
41. These trousers are weirdly big.
42. I'M A SIX!
43. Fitting room selfie!
44. Ok I'll keep this top.
45. And this one.
46. Definitely the skirt.
47. These leggings are not the best but I could totally make them work.
48. Yes to the dress.
49. Yes to all the dresses.
50. Ok maybe not this one.
51. But most definitely the skirt.
52. Should I bend over and check it in the mirror first?
53. I'm sure it's fine.
54. So long for now bikini, I'll be back for you after I've hit the gym.
55. Oh FFS I forgot the number hanger on my door.
56. Should I run back and get it?
57. No, the attendant won't notice.
58. Is she seriously making me go back to get it?
59. Somebody's going to have to clean up in there anyway.
60. Oh my god, I wonder how often fitting rooms actually get clean?
61. That's probably where all the missing sizes go to die.
62. How have I been in here an hour?
63. How did I miss this cute top!
65. Should I try it on?
66. Nah, what's £5 to me.
67. God that sounds spoiled.
68. Am I spoiled?
69. I'm shopping at H&M, definitely not.
70. I might as well get some shoes to go with that dress.
71. £70 ARE YOU KIDDING?
72. NVM, sucks for you H&M.
73. God, more queuing.
74. Definitely not going to be sucked into buying tiny things while I wait.
75. Do I need hair clips?
76. Of course I need hair clips.
77. These cosy socks seem like a good purchase.
78. And I really do need tights.
79. Is that an apron?
80. I could actually use an apron.
81. Oh FFS the lady ahead of me is returning stuff.
82. Who does that?
83. I could probably do without one or two things.
84. I'll just bury these leggings in the tiny things before I get all the way to the register.
85. But I want them.
86. CAN YOU HURRY UP PLEASE?
87. I really want them.
88. Of course the card machine is frozen.
89. I'm sure I'll wear them.
90. Ah, my turn FINALLY.
91. Guess I'll have to keep the leggings.
92. Can people who work at H&M only wear H&M to work?
93. I mean I only wear H&M to work.
94. But not from the sad professional section.
95. Not listening to how much this costs.
96. Literally closing my eyes while putting in my PIN.
97. Why is she giving me so many bags?
98. It would all fit in one bag.
99. Please don't let my phone set off the security scanners.
100.What just happened in there?
101. I don't need any of that.
102. Will just have to return it on a random day next week so I don't run into the woman who checked me out.
103. Note to self: snag that hamster jacket if it's still here.