17 Warning Signs That Cancel Out Positive Signs In A Relationship

    Sometimes, all it takes is one red flag for a relationship to go kaput immediately.

    Last year, I wrote a post about red flags that should immediately cancel green flags in a relationship. There were so many comments that I decided to do a second post. Here are 17 more red flags that people shared.

    Note: Responses have been edited for length and clarity.

    1. "Deliberate ignorance."

    Two people having a heated conversation on a couch

    2. "Racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia. It will automatically alter my view of a person for the worse."

    Serena Fischer

    3. "Extreme outbursts of anger. I wish I would've taken them more seriously in my last relationship."


    4. "Being rude to servers/store clerks/service folks."

    Woman gesturing no to food on table, looking away with thoughtful expression

    5. "Misogynist jokes. Like I'm done. It's not funny, never really was, and it's too real these days. If someone seems otherwise cool but makes casual jokes about sexism (or racism or homophobia or transphobia), nope 🙅‍♀️ we're done here. I'm out. 💃"


    6. "Allowing their friends to disrespect you or your home."


    7. "Love bombing, including over-the-top declarations of love or possessiveness from the beginning, wanting to be in contact constantly, and saying things such as, 'I can’t live without you.'”

    Man surprising a woman with a heart-shaped gift box, both smiling in a cozy indoor setting

    8. "When a person ALWAYS has to be right or can't just say they're wrong or learn something new. Just apologize, own up, and grow!"


    9. "Overbearing parents who boundary-stomp and get away with it, always."


    10. "People who break their promises. People who will not do their fair share of the physical and mental labor of maintaining a household. People who lie, cheat, are verbally and physically abusive. Addicts, be it pain pills, video games, or food. Laziness and lack of accountability. Plus, childish people who put their wants over their kids' needs."

    Woman looks upset in the foreground with a man sitting on a bed in the background, both indoors

    11. "Lying about small things. It ALWAYS means they’re lying about big things too."


    12. "Having a drinking problem. My dad died of complications due to chronic alcoholism, and I’ll be damned to ever go through that again."


    13. "A friend or partner that's in competition with you. Not healthy competition. It's like the kind where they constantly try to one-up you in ANYTHING, especially in vulnerable/emotional conversations. It gets REALLY weird, really fast."

    Woman appears upset in foreground, man in background gesturing in mid-conversation. Both seated indoors

    14. "Trying to control your friends. I dumped a guy who tried to control who I hung out with."


    15. "Those who claim they're doing justified malicious compliance, but in reality, they're going out of their way to sabotage things just because they didn't get their way. Weaponized incompetence is also an instant NO from me. I'm not dealing with any of that."


    16. "Definitely being a Republican is one. At this point, with everything going on, if you still identify as a Republican, chances are you are probably a terrible person who doesn't care for the common person. I'm sure there are decent ones out there, but they are becoming few and far between. It's safer just to stay away."


    17. And finally, "CONSTANTLY talking about the ex or exes. Fine, we all have a past, but I'm not here giving you a 90-minute speech on Jason from 15 years ago. Because I'm over it."


    What are some other warning signs in a relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

    The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.

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