In 6 B.C., a triumphant, wonderful creature entered the world's atmosphere.
All the other animals surrounded the sloths, gawking and making fun of how slow they were.
For centuries, this ridicule went on. The world was not ready for the slow, enjoy-the-moment lifestyle the sloths championed.
As a cruel joke, some especially cruel humans named a SIN after them: sloth.
This made the sloths sad, of course, but they would not give up on the unity between animals they desired. Instead, on July 18, 1612, after generations of ridicule, the sloths held a dinner party.
The party went well! Even though many of the sloths fell asleep during dinner, the animals started to come around to the idea of sloths.
In fact, many of them didn't know what had bugged them in the first place. "Taking it slow, appreciating your neighbor: What's wrong with that?" one dog wrote in an op-ed piece the next day.