RE: BuzzFeed APPLICATION
Hi, I'm Charmee and I like sex. Coming from a small town in Pennsylvania where I was taught abstinence only education, sex was either ignored or for baby making, that's it. After college I moved out to Los Angeles where having sex is like this crazy thing done for pleasure...imagine that? After I opened pandora's box, I had to do scientific research on the subject and in doing so, I came across a podcast that change my effing life. Guys We Fucked: The Anti-Slut Shaming Podcast hit its climax this year by being one of the top rated pods on Itunes. The hosts, comedy duo Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson, have been slaying the comedy podcast scene for years now. Their sex positive, anti slut shaming podcast got it's start after Corrine was blindsided by a break up, in a Panera Bread..yum! In a post break up blur she needed to find the missing pieces, so she went through each relationship she'd had been in, up until that point, searching for answers and this is how the show got its start. Not only is this a show that gets into the nitty gritty of sex, it opens up dialogue about what it means to have enjoyable sex no matter where you are in life, chased with light hearted humor and a dash of feminism. Sitting in in my car, stuck on the 405, listening the podcast, it struck me that my conservative background had held me captive for so long and I needed to take back my sexuality. This is where I decided to try tips straight from the lips of the experts themselves and see what happened.
Toys! Toys! Toys!
Krystyna talks about the joys of her Hitachi and a few toys her and her boyfriend use together, where Corinne's on the other side of the spectrum and rarely if ever uses them. They encourage listeners to give toys a try and I did my own digging and found a very small starter toy that I used with my boyfriend. We tried the Trojan Hot Spot, which is a ring you wrap around the base of a penis and has light vibrations to stimulate the clitoris. It's a wiggly in consistency and feels a lot like those sticky hands from the 90's that I would play with on the school bus ride home. It's not so sexy to put on and took a few try's to line up the mini vibratory. I found it distracting and took me out of the moment when putting it on. I didn't like this one but it definitely didn't knock my entire view on toys. Next time, I would try a toy on my own but I'm glad I at least tried it with a partner.
Sex Shop Make Them Panties Drop
Several episodes have been centered around going to a sex store with their partner. After mustering up the courage I asked my boyfriend if that was something he was interested in and with no hesitation he said "Hell yeah!" We walked in and were greeting by a warm woman at the door. Something no one tells you about sex shops is that it's not like walking onto the set of a porno. It's just a bunch of normal looking couples or single people peppered throughout the store. We went straight to the costumes and were deeply conflicted between a sexy police officer or sexy librarian so we decided on librarian cause it came with free glasses..I can't resist a good deal! We also got some sexy lacy underwear, lube, strawberry flavored oral sex spray and all natural arousal pills. It was definitely money well spent and all the staff were incredibly knowledgeable of the products and non-judgemental. A huge plus of going with a partner is that the bonding experience opens the both of you up to the what types of things you'd like to try. I saw my boyfriend eyeing the dildos and I asked him if that was something he was interested in and we talked about using one next time we're feeling frisky. It's a great segway into an honest conversation which brings me to my next sex tip.
Move Those Lips!
Before they interview their guest for the week Krystyna and Corrine read an email from listeners. Many times the problem has to do with a person writing in about their partner and they like to add some spice to the bedroom and they always say "this could just be resolved with a conversation" and I agree so I sat down with my partner and did just that, nothing was off limits. I'd done something similar to this before but not so intentional. I took a deep breath swallowed my conservative mind set and I spoke with him about things I like that have made me climax on my own. Counter to my own reservations he was very cool with it and wanted to incorporate that into our sexy time. Then it was my turn to listen to him and maybe it's the Scorpio in me but I'm always down to try something once. I loved actively opening up to my partner it was a way to bond and understand what he liked but more importantly I was vocalizing what I wanted and so often in my daily life I don't, I felt extremely empowered.
Threesomes are a topic that comes up quite often on this podcast as Krystyna who's been dating her boyfriend Stephen for almost 5 years has tried several, on her own and with Stephen through using Thrinder an app for couples to find their third. To be honest I can't actually see myself having a threesome, instead I worked it into my sex talk. I found out through this podcast that my partner has a cuckolding fetish which means that he finds it super hot to think about me with another guy. I decided to actively make this apart of our sex life and it amplified things...a lot. Is it getting hot in here? We also set up a Thrinder, It was super hot setting up the account together but I'm not going to lie it was hard to get past the jealousy aspect of it all on my part. It's definitely not something I'll knock but for now I'll keep the dirty talk and that's enough for me.
If there's anything you take away from listening to GWF is that you're the pilot and you're in control of your sex life and there's something beautiful and empowering about that. They constantly encourage listeners, women especially, to get to know themselves, what they like and don't like and sure that comes with ages and experience but it also comes with being intentional about your sexuality. Whether you want to sleep around or stay virginal you're in control and that's what I find so impactful about this podcast. Coming from an abusive past where I had no control, I'm finding it everyday in loving myself and that's what this show is all about. It may feel awkward or silly or stupid but it is about finding that thing that you like and that's why this podcast and discovering what I like is important.
Episodes of Guys We Fucked: The Anti-Slut Shaming Podcast comes out every Friday you can find it here: https://soundcloud.com/guyswefucked, check it out and find your freedom!