1. Are your weird cows in fact running the country?
2. And what have they done with all your sheep?
3. Why the year-round wellies? Is it something about Glastonbury?
4. How did you manage to invent everything in the world?
5. Yet you can't quite grasp the concept of a milkshake?
6. Why are y'all so fanatical about Irn-Bru?
7. And why haven't you erected a giant, majestic monument to your favourite beverage?
8. No offence, but why is Scottish cuisine so unhealthy?
9. Your place names are pretty much the same as ours, which really throws us when we first arrive.
10. And your accent is seriously hard to fathom.
11. And tbf our accent gives us a bit of trouble too.
12. Why is your piupiu made of swandri, bro?
13. And why is the world obsessed with what's underneath it?
14. Why do you venerate films shot in Scotland?
15. Why are Scottish folk so ridiculously nice?
16. Actually come to think of it, despite your baffling quirks we definitely wouldn't have you any other way.
Plus I guess we're a kind of a weird bunch, too.
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