1. How they respond to calling:
2. How they respond when you're in peril:
3. How they greet anyone you bring home:
4. And how they appreciate your gifts:
5. Where they choose to sleep:
6. And their general indifference to photogenics:
7. Basically, this is the contract you signed with your cat:
Still worth it, though!
Follow Yasmine's comics at Cat Versus Human, or in our new ComicsFeed syndication series.