1. This is David Mitchell. He embodies almost everything the internet feels.
2. He leads a life similar to the average internet user.
3. He does everything we do on the internet.
4. He's always peeved at everyone and their idiocy.
5. He loves food the most.
6. Human contact is not among his favorite activities.
7. He understands the importance of honesty.
8. He has a full and vibrant sexual life.
9. His level of apathy is beautiful.
10. He understands the fine line between stalking and liking.
11. He says what we're all feeling.
12. His life philosophies speak directly to the internet's soul.
13. He understands the pain of actually going out and being with people.
14. He understands the way of the world.
15. He's politically minded, just like the internet.
16. He's not afraid to get a little saucy.
17. He is incredibly affectionate.
18. He knows if you didn't blog it, it didn't happen.
19. He knows how to blend in perfectly in real life.
20. He understands fashion and the latest trends.
21. He's not afraid to rebel against norms.
22. His understanding of science rivals Neil deGrasse Tyson's.
23. He is not a fan of clubbing.
24. He's a feminist.
25. He thinks about the important things.
26. Basically, he's perfect.
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