1.
I love Germany, its Vonderfull here! I love z apple strudel
2.
I feel like there's a giant meatloaf inside of me
3.
Do ants have dicks?
4.
Robert Pattinson
5.
Weird Kim fact- I blow dry all my jewelry before I put it on! I can't stand putting on cold jewelry, it gives me the chills!
6.
About to call the paparazzi on myself!
7.
Hey dolls! What does it mean when your lip randomly swells up like crazy??!!!
8.
9.
I love when people consider themselves the "Carrie Bradshaw" of this or that...the world doesn't revolve around you honey bunches of oats.
10.
Whoot whoot
11.
i have a really odd talent. i can smell when someone has cavaties! i have never been wrong yet! they dont even have 2 be super close by me
12.
howdy y'all! hows it comin'?
13.
Do woodpeckers get headaches?
14.
And RIP to my two little fishys Julia #1 and Julia #2 :(
15.
I just sharted myself. That's when u fart and u shit yourself on accident!
16.
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
17.
Sick.
18.
Me: who invented high heels? Khloe: some bitch!
19.
Thanks guys! I had no idea a pickle was really a cucumber! U guys totally confirmed it!
20.
Hi twitterbugs! How is everyone doing tonite? On my way 2 a barmitzvah party and its a carnival theme! I am now praying 4 cotton candy! Yum!
21.
I love pomegranates ❤
22.
kowabunga dudettes. i'm so pumped to be on this surfing kick. who else surfs out there? gnarly day in the h2o. ridin waves!