1. Tell you "there's fruit in the bowl" when you tell them you're hungry.
2. And when you ask what's for dessert tell you "there's choc ices in the freezer".
Dating in your 30's is a disappointing as when you used to hear the ice cream van & your mum said "there's a choc ice in the freezer"
3. Call you for dinner 15 minutes before it's ready.
4. Bulk buy supermarket basic chocolate bars.
5. Think the height of interior design is putting shells in a vase.
6. Tell you they've got you a present but it turns out to be an essential or something they got for free with a purchase.
7. Freeze leftovers in ice cream and Flora tubs so that disappointment comes in thick and fast.
8. Offer you a cuppa then expect you to make it.
mum: do you want a coffee? me: yeh please mum: go and put the kettle on me: um i actually ain't that thirsty tbh
9. End all texts "Love Mum xx".
When you get a text like this from your mum...
10. And send you passive aggressive messages.
11. Have a drawer full of mismatched tupperware, none of which they've bought but just kept from a chinese takeaway.
12. Spend hours flicking through the Next catalogue.
13. And live for the Next sale.
14. Describe the weather in terms of how many times they've had to put the washing out.
nothing worse than that phone call you get from your mum when she's out and you've to bring all the washing in cause it's raining
15. Look over your shoulder when you're on the computer and ask who everyone you scroll past is.
16. And claim that technology just doesn't work for them whenever they use a computer.
17. Writes "Christmas" on all the treats in mid June.
18. Act like you've just committed murder when in actual fact your tidy room just has one thing out of place.
19. Ask you what every kid you went to primary school is doing now, even if you haven't spoken to them in years.
20. Tell you "only boring people get bored".
When you say you're bored and your mum drops that line "Only boring people get bored" FCK OFF ELIZABETH DONT REMIND ME
21. You can't eat or use anything in your own home because "that's for guests".
Is your mum really your mum if she doesn't have a secret cupboard of snacks that she hides & is exclusive only for when guests come over?!
22. Fill a biscuit barrell with sewing stuff.
23. Wait until you've accidentally left a light on to tell you "it's like Blackpool illuminations in here".
