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24 Hilarious Schmidt Quotes That Will Never Get Old

Youths, amirite?

1. When his nipples were a mystery to us all:

2. When he used a line that was both creepy and adorable:

3. When he couldn't handle "poor people" wood for even one second:

4. When he revealed some truths from his past.

5. When he was too Schmidt for his own good:

6., really Schmidt:

7. When he tried so, so hard to remember a word:

8. When he just wanted to chill in his 'mono:

9. When he couldn't handle the troubles of the world:

10. And when those troubles hurt his heart, but he didn't have any time for sympathy:

11. When he desperately needed to know how big Nick's penis was:

12. When he was completely, 100% into himself:

13. When he was super, super excited about sex:

14. But also when he had a lot of serious questions about sex:

15. When his Winston insults were on point:

16. When he confessed his true, unadulterated love for delicious fruit condiments:

17. And that he does more than eat it:

18. When he made excellent use of his own name.

19. When he gave himself a much-needed pep talk:

20. When he told Cece just how great it is to have sex with him:

21. When he revealed the life lessons he learned in his childhood:

22. When he talked about the super-specific pants that he owns:

23. When he threw some cell phone shade:

24. And when he complained about his favorite thing to complain about: