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24 Times Andy Dwyer Was The Funniest Character On “Parks and Recreation”

"I'm not crying. I'm just allergic to jerks!"

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1. When work really, really bored him:

Andy: Chris gave me this great job as a weekend security guard at City Hall. Only one problem: It's a terrible job. I did everything I was supposed to do and I walked around the building four times and only 20 minutes have gone by. I thought maybe 10 minutes had gone by since I started talking, but it's only been 15 seconds. *deep sigh*

2. When he broke everything around him:

Andy: I did it! I got it out!

Councilman Pillner: Oh, jeez. You don't take the ship out.

Andy: Here you go.

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3. When he moved people to tears with his tender storytelling:

Andy: And that's how it ends. I love it, it's called Babe. And I know it sounds corny, talking pig, whatever. You should all see it.

Donna: I feel like I just did.

4. When he explained how science works:

Andy: Did you know that the food you eat becomes energy? Boom! That's spaghetti. Nachos. That's a cookie.

5. When he thought he was really good at finding things:

Andy: Ron, look, I found all three differences.

Ron: Those are two completely different pictures.

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8. When he returned from the dead:

Andy: When Leslie's in trouble, there's only one man for the job. Bert Macklin, FBI. You thought I was dead? So did the president's enemies.

9. When he proved he's an intellectual:

Andy: If you rearrange the letters of Peru, you could spell Europe.

10. When he revealed that he doesn't understand the moon:

April: I don't want you to go back to London.

Andy: Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I, too, will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously. That's impossible.

12. When he turned to the interwebs for help:

Andy: Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have "network connectivity problems."

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13. When he had a real knack for coming up with band names:

April: So tomorrow I lead a public forum in Leslie's Fleetwood Mac sex pants.

Andy: Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants. New band name. I call it. Ooh, you know what? Maybe just Fleetwood Mac.

15. When he proved he deserves his own fixer-upper show on HGTV:

Ron: Andrew, are you aware that your bathroom faucet is leaking?

Andy: Are you kidding me? I just stuffed a sock in it yesterday. What else do they want me to do?!

Ron: There's an exposed wire over the bathtub as well.

Andy: Oh yeah! Shock wire! I call it that 'cause if you take a shower and touch the wire, you die!

16. When he sacrificed Jerry's face in order to solve a mystery:

17. When he solved a mystery:

Andy: Something is different about my computer. Aha! It's gone.

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18. When he revealed all of his secrets:

20. When he maybe did or did not know that Harry Potter is fictional:

Andy: I can't believe we're at Hogwarts!

Ben: No, that's Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. Do you know that? It's important to me that you know that.

21. When he rolled his eyes at the institution that is higher education:

Andy: I did not graduate college because I did not "attend it."

22. When he played the system:

Andy: I guess while you get your medicine, I'll just stroll through the candy aisles but won't get any.

Leslie: You can buy two candies.

Andy: Two?! This counts as one.

23. When his sadness made him hot:

Andy: When I get bummed out, I take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty.

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