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37 Batshit Crazy Things People Have Done In Their Sleep

Wtf are you doing with a watermelon in your bed?

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We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the craziest, weirdest, and creepiest things they've ever done in their sleep. Let's just say that whatever you do after midnight is really none of our business...

1. Chopped off 5 inches of hair... and saved it

Disney / Via

"I was staying at my parents' house when I cut off over 5 inches of my shoulder-length hair on Ambien. I woke up in the morning and my brother was like "Don't freak out" and had sandwich bags that I put my hair in." —erinmorans

3. Tried to eat a friend's hand

Nickelodeon / Via

"During a sleepover with my friend, I literally stuck her whole hand in my mouth and chewed on it. We both woke up and her hand was still partway in my mouth, covered in spit. She said she woke up to me doing that five different times during the night." —Chloe the Fangirl


5. Ended a relationship

Chapendra CC BY-NC / Via Flickr: chaparral

"I've had entire texting conversations while asleep, and texted many people I never normally talk to. The most unfortunate sleep-texting story was when I broke up with my boyfriend in my sleep! Thankfully that got sorted out." —gabrialc

7. Whipped up a fancy breakfast

Cartoon Network / Via

"My mom once found me making bacon and pancakes in my sleep, and somehow I had managed to change into my Lilly Pulitzer dress. She woke me up and we ended up eating the bacon and pancakes at 3 in the morning." —kathryns44f51093f


9. Did an outfit change and woke up ~flawless~

Beyoncé Knowles / Via

"I'm never aware when I sleep walk, though the my biggest indicator is waking up in a different outfit. What's crazy to me is that it always matches. I've even created some amazing outfits that I consciously would have never thought of putting together." —jessiec422e069a7

11. Toasted a Pop-Tart and slept on it

Nyan Cat / / Via

"I used to sleepwalk. One time, I had a Pop-Tart stuck to my thigh when I woke up. I had a bunk bed. I have no clue how I got up, went in the kitchen, found the Pop-Tarts, cooked them, and then successfully made it back to my bed." —Ally X


12. Toasted a real human hand and went to the E.R.

Disney / Via

"Once I had a dream involving giant bugs and a toaster. The last thing I remember was seeing a hand go into the side of the toaster. Then I woke up, and I was in the kitchen with my hand in my toaster and the toaster on. I had to go the emergency room with second degree burns!" —leftrightwrong

13. Mounted a sleeping partner / Via

"My boyfriend enjoys mounting me in my sleep. In the middle of the night, the time I call the 'witching hour,' he literally climbs on top of me. He then mutters in my ear and is immobile until the morning." —kaarep

15. Dabbled in sleep graffiti and ruined all the things

NBC / Via BuzzFeed Life

"I spray-painted everything in my garage red, with no ventilation. Didn't realize it till I woke up the next morning with red pajamas and paint running out of my nose." —kimberlygoughw


16. Tried to drive a car after ~maybe~ playing some volleyball

FOX / Via

"I woke up trying to start my car with sand in my mismatched shoes. At the time I lived with a roommate, on the third story of an apartment building, with a sand-filled volleyball court across from where my car was parked." —taylorbrandte

19. Removed a nose piercing

CBS / Via

"I was asleep one night and had a dream that I was taking out my nose ring, and woke up in excruciating pain. I was actually removing the piercing from my nose in my sleep. I got out of bed and cleaned up the blood, changed the pillowcase and disinfected my nose then went back to sleep." —mikkeln


20. Destroyed a perfectly good curling iron

Twentieth Century Fox / Via

"My kid brother once got up in the middle of the night to pee and cut the cord off of Mom's curling iron. Left both pieces in the sink. Didn't remember doing it, and never did anything else weird while sleeping after that." —tweedc4


24. Orgasmed at all hours of the night

NBS / Via

"I orgasm in my sleep all the time. I have since puberty, it's super embarrassing. It makes sharing a hotel room and freshman year obviously an issue… and no it makes no difference how often I'm getting it while awake." —elleh400b602e8

Find out more about sleep orgasms here.


28. Showed some skin while walking the dog

TLC / Via

"I sleepwalk often to get a drink of water in the middle of the night. One night my husband heard me walk to the kitchen and waited for me to come back to bed but after a few minutes he didn't hear anything. He found me staring out the back door with the dog on her leash, drinking my water. And I had my shirt up to my boobs exposing my stomach to the neighborhood." —amyg32

31. Became a cat

Polygram Filmed Entertainment / Via

"My friends have a video of me crawling around on all fours, meowing at things and hissing at people who tried to touch me! I had found a box and curled up on top of it... I don't remember doing it at all but watching the video was hilarious!" —nhit47a2ce48b


32. Became legit Batman

"I had bunk beds when I was a kid and I once woke up dangling over the side by my ankles which were caught in the rails. I basically slept upside down like a bat." —ravenbard

33. Got a manicure that looked busted AF

"My mom, under the influence of a sleep aid medicine, painted her nails in the middle of the night. It was horrible, all over her fingers. She woke up the next morning thinking I had done it as a prank and grounded me. She didn't believe I didn't do it until my dad came home from work and said he saw her painting her nails in the middle of the night. She still doesn't fully believe it wasn't me." —daniellad45a95fa5d

35. Went HAM on the night cheese

NBC / Via

"My bro once slept walked downstairs to the kitchen and when he woke up he realized he'd eaten the whole chunk of parmesan cheese and only the rind was left." —Anna Fleischer (Facebook)


36. ROFL'd and got stuck under a piece of furniture

Nickelodeon / Via

"Once I fell off the bed onto the floor, rolled around, and got my head stuck under my dresser, but I didn't wake up so I awoke the next morning flat on the floor, face down and unable to move." —Nina Line (Facebook)

37. Requested chicken wings from a boyfriend who restored our faith in true love

Warner Bros. / Via

"I called my boyfriend and told him to bring me honey barbecue wings from Pizza Hut and he woke me up with them next to my face." —jaimeec47677d731

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